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retailzombie

One who must slave to a cash register for hours on end with no breaks for lunch or for the bathroom.
What shift do you have today?

I am the retailzombie.
by Dylan Satchel July 20, 2008
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Retail Superstar

A retail assistant that believes they have super human powers when it comes to fashion. In their mind their level of importance and abilities put them on par with Einstein and God.
"No soup for you!"
"He has a sixth sense when it comes to fashion. He new you weren't going to buy it even before you left the house"
In reality these people offer little to the word, and are classified in evolution as a FAIL!
Insofar as our employee goes; Similar to our product offerings, our employees are selected with a similar approach. Chris whom served you is a qualified stylist whom has a sixth sense for fashion, and Chris’s only problem is that he is too good at what he does, and as I am sure you are aware, people whom are talented, generally do not tolerate having their time wasted, which is the reason you were provoked to leave the store.
Whilst I concede that you work for chain retailer, unfortunately that does not make us like for like. It is probably fair to assume, a lot of what I have said in this email, either doesn’t make sense to you, or you totally disagree with it all, which is what I would expect (unless of course I have you totally wrong – which I doubt).
Let me guess, you would never, ever hire Chris in the course of your duty, would you? This is the very reason, why your comment “from one retailer to another” is so disproportionate, it’s almost as though we are in a totally different industries. Chris is a retail superstar, who possess unparalleled ability, and I am sorry you feel upset by him, but he knew you were not going to buy anything before you even left your house.
by Retail Superstar October 1, 2011
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Retard Shivers

Experiencing something so retarded that it gives you shivers.
Everyone broke out in song during today's status meeting...weird, gave me the retard shivers.

Scientology gives me the retard shivers.

Atheist at a baptism = retard shivers.
by [Ryuk] November 11, 2011
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retard pillow

NOUN /ˈrēˌtärd ˈpilō/

A stuffed cloth or cushion used to protect a mentally handicapped person from harming himself or others.
"I had to duct tape him with a bunch of retard pillows before I left the house."
by Necrolepsy June 25, 2014
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retard

1) Someone with a mental disability that everyone treats with kid gloves and condescension because they assume everyone else is treating them like shit.

2) Someone who is acting stupid, unintentionally acting as if they have a mental disability.
1) Jen: (insincerely, looking for everyone to think she's sympathetic and a good person) Aww did you see Jan? Good for him, he's rolling his wheelchair all on his own. What a shame that such a wonderful brave person. What an inspiration.
Jon: Shut the fuck up Jen, you phony materialistic slut. Jan's actually intelligent, you're just treating him like a child, ironically making you the retard in this situation.

2) You fucking retard, you don't put the cheese in the boiling water you strain the pasta first. This is the last time I'm letting you make the mac and cheese.
by Ricardo Ryder January 19, 2016
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retard powers

Being as stupid as possible, therefore making others around you stupid by talking.
"His retard powers are so great, my iq drops by 50 every time he speaks."
by 100%Retard January 30, 2016
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retard

What kind of person would vote for those retards?
by Getrekt.com October 23, 2016
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