Jesus is an Astronaut

The act of ruining a deep, intellectual conversation with a random statement.

Scott: ... And that is why life is so confusing
Dean: Jesus is an Astronaut
Scott: Wait what?

by Dbert71 December 23, 2008

jesus bolts

The "jesus bolts" are the small, high-tensile bolts that attach the rotor pitch control push rods to the swash plateon a helicopter.

If one of these bolts fails, then one of the 'copter's rotors will be decoupled from the cyclic/collective pitch control, which is generally thought of as a Bad Thing; they are so called because if you've led a good life, afther the failure Jesus is the next person you meet.

See also zero survivability incident

Pilot: "Is this thing good to go ?"
Engineer: "Yeah, we even gave you new Jesus Bolts !"
Pilot: "Gee, thanks."

by eighthofseven August 17, 2007

Jesus Chrysler

A substitute for when people feel like saying Jesus Christ but don't want to. So they say Jesus Chrysler instead.

"Jesus Chrysler,That guy is being a real ass"

by SolidSnake1162 May 21, 2008

Jesus Swagger

Someone who lives a life that reflects Jesus.

That guy has got Jesus Swagger!

by jarridwilson May 1, 2016

Jesus holiday

The practice of a worker taking two days off from work ill before miraculously returning on the third day ie on the third day he rose again

Jarod was off ill on Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday before needing a sick note from the doctor. Must of been a Jesus holiday

by 10cc July 1, 2016

banana jesus

the god of fun and fruit and has never turns down a good time with freinds and hot chicks.

damn, banana jesus gots the moves!!

by bananajesus2018 September 21, 2017

Jesus Crackers

Communion bread. Only funnier and truer. Best used in the context of satirizing Christianity and in humoring the physical appearance of the bread.

Friend: "I went to church today"
Friend 2: "Ouu what'd you do?"
Friend: "We heard a homily and prayed and received communion!"
Friend 2: "yOu mEan yOu aTe jEsuS cRackErs"

by the Dan Dan that Can Can April 13, 2020