Static electricity

Static Electricity was discovered in an incredibly large box by 4 Tax Collectors. So far, almost 3 applications have been found for it.

In the olden days it was used to drain the colour out of the world, and make everyone walk too fast.

These days however, it is mainly used for Special Effects, used in such films as The Blair Witch Project.

In 600 BC it was discovered that rubbing a piece of amber with cat fur would cause it to attract small pieces of paper. This discovery led to the invention of the first apparatus for the mass production of static electricity, in which a number of cats are attached to the rim of a rotating wheel, aligned such that their fur comes into contact with a specially shaped block of amber.

Maintenance of the device proved to be almost impossible as any engineer attempting to remove the wheel from its mountings would be instantly lacerated by the sharp claws of the highly charged cats, so the 17th century German scientist Otto von Guericke improved on the design by replacing the cats with balls of sulphur.

By this time the uses for static electricity were growing in number and variety, and maintaining the supply of cats and sulphur presented great problems. A method of storing and transporting static electricity was clearly needed.

Early attempts to use cardboard boxes for this job proved unreliable and dangerous, as the electricity would leak from the bottom of the box and cause contamination of the ground. This proved especially problematic for sheep farmers as the escaped electricity would cause the sheeps' wool to stand on end. Any slight breeze would pick up the sheep and carry them for miles, much like a dandelion seed.

Enter the Dutch physicist Pieter van Musschenbroek who hit upon the revolutionary idea of storing the electricity in a bottle. This proved much more reliable because a simple cork could be used to prevent the electricity from spilling out. His invention was titled the Leyden jar because nobody could remember how to spell "van Musschenbroek".
Static electricity... Shocking!!
by kodiac1 July 03, 2006
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Static Toast

a random saying that is awsome! it definds something that is amazing, or just said by its self. also "static" by itself replaces "epic" and "decent".
Static Toast!!!!
by K9 JL December 15, 2010
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Static electrikitty

The tension discharge from rubbing two cats together quite the same as rubbing a balloon on your hair or shuffling your feet on the floor with no shoes.
Jon got tired of the cats rubbing the hair off of his ankles doing figure eights between his feet for some food. He picked them both up, a d rubbed them together, and was shocked by the static electrikitty discharge of cats that are way too close.
by Russ and Trees January 31, 2019
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static swag

Swag without movement (or action). Never capitalizing on an easy situation. Early stages of swag.
The boy had static swag when he hit on his first crush.
Girl - I look so bad in this picture.
Boy - Don't put yourself down like that you really do look good.
*No response...
by A. J. Rolling January 08, 2012
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static life

Welcome to the static life, here you are safe from the impression that your so low your on bags
I’m not a bitch I’m apart of the static life #fuckbags
by The static kids November 22, 2021
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Static The Fox

Static The Fox is a hero in the Discord server, HelloBurpGames. He was there when you were down, he always cared for you. All he wanted was for his friends to be happy, and he made them happy. We'll miss you Static.
Person 1: Did you hear about what happened to Static The Fox?

Person 2: Yeah, that sucks.
by AssRipper2000 October 17, 2020
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