1. When someone is joking and you want to remind them that it's serious business.
2. Something for real.
2. Something for real.
Mrs_Doubtfire: his face is purple
Cassy_007: thats not funny
sandy_pants: hes face is red
KEL29: this is real puma
Cassy_007: thats not funny
sandy_pants: hes face is red
KEL29: this is real puma
by dirt nap December 20, 2007
by Check out my gravel pit January 10, 2020
nickname for Houston Astros baseball player/all-star Lance Berkman. bestowed upon him (tongue in cheek, yet good naturedly) by local radio station due to his "cat-like" movements around the base paths.
by wt johnson August 18, 2006
The Puma Crawl is a sexual move reserved for only the most skilled and experienced sexual deviants. At its core, the puma crawl is a rollicking throat-fucking, but to comprehend the true essence of the puma, please consider the following scenario:
After a long night of heavy drinking, you reemerge from blackout to find that the tasty strump you were rapping to at the bar is now lying prostrate below you. As you assume the missionary position and prepare to displeasure her for 2-3 minutes before you fall asleep, you realize your semi-chubber isn’t quite perky enough to lay pipe. Rather than fumbling around until you successfully bury your half erect tube-snake in her vergina, you propel yourself on all fours towards her face and dump your whisky-dick dangler into her gaping mouth and fuck amply. Congratulations my friend, you have just successfully completed the puma crawl.
While the above tale was carried out with all the expertise, savagery, and insatiable sexual will of an experienced puma crawler, please do not underestimate the difficulty of this move. Legend has it that Vatsyayana (author of the Karma Sutra) pulled a hamstring his first time attempting the puma. The key to the puma is timing. If, amidst the whirlwind of your blackout, you are too slow, you risk rejection by your female counterpart. Experience has taught us that no unsuspecting harlot wants to look up and find a hairy sack of meat and potatoes rumbling towards her face eager to fuck. The goal of all aspiring puma crawlers should be to time your approach so that just as your partner realizes what is happening and begins to scream “Noooo!” in protest, it is too late, you are upon her, and her mouth is now conveniently open for a throat mashing.
While style certainly varies based on personal preference, puma crawlers have found that a low and stalking approach works best. It is from this form that “The Puma” derives its name. Similarly, animalistic grunts pair nicely with this technique. Again, the Puma Crawl is a very difficult sexual move. The surgeon general recently issued a warning that before attempting the puma crawl, extensive stretching should be undertaken. Suggested warm-up exercises included, but were not limited to: Irish car bombs, tequila shots, grain alcohol shooters, and double digit beer bongs.
After a long night of heavy drinking, you reemerge from blackout to find that the tasty strump you were rapping to at the bar is now lying prostrate below you. As you assume the missionary position and prepare to displeasure her for 2-3 minutes before you fall asleep, you realize your semi-chubber isn’t quite perky enough to lay pipe. Rather than fumbling around until you successfully bury your half erect tube-snake in her vergina, you propel yourself on all fours towards her face and dump your whisky-dick dangler into her gaping mouth and fuck amply. Congratulations my friend, you have just successfully completed the puma crawl.
While the above tale was carried out with all the expertise, savagery, and insatiable sexual will of an experienced puma crawler, please do not underestimate the difficulty of this move. Legend has it that Vatsyayana (author of the Karma Sutra) pulled a hamstring his first time attempting the puma. The key to the puma is timing. If, amidst the whirlwind of your blackout, you are too slow, you risk rejection by your female counterpart. Experience has taught us that no unsuspecting harlot wants to look up and find a hairy sack of meat and potatoes rumbling towards her face eager to fuck. The goal of all aspiring puma crawlers should be to time your approach so that just as your partner realizes what is happening and begins to scream “Noooo!” in protest, it is too late, you are upon her, and her mouth is now conveniently open for a throat mashing.
While style certainly varies based on personal preference, puma crawlers have found that a low and stalking approach works best. It is from this form that “The Puma” derives its name. Similarly, animalistic grunts pair nicely with this technique. Again, the Puma Crawl is a very difficult sexual move. The surgeon general recently issued a warning that before attempting the puma crawl, extensive stretching should be undertaken. Suggested warm-up exercises included, but were not limited to: Irish car bombs, tequila shots, grain alcohol shooters, and double digit beer bongs.
Lisa: Ouuuch! What was that?
Brett (in a satisfied tone): "The Puma Crawl"
Lisa: Fuck that hurts! You got some in my eye!
Brett: (no response) (snoring)
Brett (in a satisfied tone): "The Puma Crawl"
Lisa: Fuck that hurts! You got some in my eye!
Brett: (no response) (snoring)
by B.C.S. March 26, 2007
A Conversational Puma is a loud and opportunistic member of a conversation. The "puma" part comes from the person's tendency to "pounce" on you when you are trying to tell a story with loud interjections like "NO WAY" or "I KNOW". Though its debateable whether the conversational puma is truely interested in what you are saying or if he/she is just patronizing you, the story usually ends up being truncated for no other reason than to avoid being loudly interrupted.
This word was recently pioneered on the radio program Loveline by Adam Carolla.
This word was recently pioneered on the radio program Loveline by Adam Carolla.
Jesus christ, I hate that Suzy. I can't finish a single sentence with her without her pouncing on me with 'OMG' or something like that. She's such a conversational puma.
by Skeeter McDougal October 4, 2005
Essentially, a younger version of a cougar. Puma Prowlers are typically under-30 females who enjoy dating/hitting on/hooking up with younger (yet still over 18) males or females. A responsible Puma Prowler however will always ask for identification from any potential target who looks like they can be underage. Puma Prowlers tend to be successful and financially well-kempt twenty-somethings with "Sugar Mama" tendencies.
She's such a Puma Prowler, all her ex-boyfriends are still in college!, Let's go Puma Prowl at the Ducks game this weekend!, Last night Danielle was Puma Prowling at $1 PBR night
by The Portland Socialite October 2, 2012
A cougar in training; someone just entering their early thirties with aspirations of being the real deal.
Often looks too young to achieve cougardom as eye cream, moisturizer, and a healthy diet are on their side. Non smokers. Non wrinkly hands and necks. Perky, natural boobs.
Age requirement: 30-36ish
Pumas in training are often called mountain screamers and would be in the mid to late twenties.
Often looks too young to achieve cougardom as eye cream, moisturizer, and a healthy diet are on their side. Non smokers. Non wrinkly hands and necks. Perky, natural boobs.
Age requirement: 30-36ish
Pumas in training are often called mountain screamers and would be in the mid to late twenties.
Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone are urban pumas. Technical cougars that can still be classifed as pumas = Ellen Pompeo (even though she's OOOOOLLLLDDDD, she's kept a youthful glow) and Amanda Peet (again, 35, but looks great).
Mountain screamers would be Natalie Portman, LeAnn Rhimes, and Scarlett Johansson.
Mountain screamers would be Natalie Portman, LeAnn Rhimes, and Scarlett Johansson.
by pumaqueen October 2, 2007