Boner bruise

A bruise on the inner thigh caused by a rapidly expanding erection whereby the tip of the penis impacts forcibly into the leg.

Damn that girl Audrey is so hot every time I see her i get a boner bruise.

by Blackcox44859 September 6, 2013

Douche-bruise

Noun: Injury sustained from excessive douche exposure

Adjective: The quality of being massively douchey

"I ended up talking for a half hour to some guy with too much hair gel and a screen-printed dress shirt. I have a nasty douche-bruise."

"David? Total Douchebruise."

by IDidItFirst! October 16, 2011

Dirty bruise

Bruises that occur with rough, wild sex. Grabbing, pulling, bighting (nibbling), ECT.

Baby I'm feeling frisky, I want to wake up with "dirty bruises"!

I want it so rough that I have "dirty bruises"!

by TiGhT*wOuNd&HeLlbOuNd February 22, 2020

Bruised the toilet

To leave a brown streaky skid mark on the bottom of the toilet that is so caked on after taking a poo that the water from flushing won't remove it.

Husband: I'm going to head downstairs and take a deucer.
Wife: Sounds good.
--Wait 15 minutes --
Husband: Do we have a toilet brush somewhere I just bruised the toilet.

by lewdog07 February 18, 2010

Thigh Bruise

The bruises you get on your face when you go down on a woman and give her such a powerful orgasm she squeezes your face with her inner thighs like it's in a vice. The bruises you get are thigh bruises.

Jeff ate at the Y so well, he got thigh bruises.

by Poodleusier June 24, 2004

Mushroom bruise

The purple or pink hematoma left by Clint Eastgoode's cock hitting your cheek.

That hit Sandy received last night left a sah-weet mushroom bruise!

by JeepGurl November 3, 2010

Jelly Bruise

After one has made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, put it in a paper sack, and carried it around all day in a backpack, the bread may have become smashed, thus letting Jelly seap into the holes of the bread. The jelly then changes the bread from white colours to an ugly greyish purple, resembling a bruise on a human.

Hey Zach, you have a jelly bruise today?" "Yeah I do, Jake. I got ran into in the hallway and they smashed my bag

by The_Italian_Stalion_girl December 2, 2010