Unexplained Bruises

Those obvious body marks on the skin which appear unexpectedly the next day after particularly active sex, but you have no idea how they got there specifically.

No wonder Karen's smiling so brightly this morning. Have you seen all of her unexplained bruises?

by Monty_Pythons August 5, 2009

Bruised the toilet

To leave a brown streaky skid mark on the bottom of the toilet that is so caked on after taking a poo that the water from flushing won't remove it.

Husband: I'm going to head downstairs and take a deucer.
Wife: Sounds good.
--Wait 15 minutes --
Husband: Do we have a toilet brush somewhere I just bruised the toilet.

by lewdog07 February 18, 2010

heel bruise

A bruise that is located at the back part of the foot below the ankle. An injuring mostly occurring to skateboarders that jumping off high platforms and landing on their feet without their skateboard.

I heard got major heel bruise from trying that gap yesterday.

If you wear Addidas socks with Vans, you're asking for heel bruise.

by Sk8rBoyL8rBoy June 27, 2017

Boner bruise

A bruise on the inner thigh caused by a rapidly expanding erection whereby the tip of the penis impacts forcibly into the leg.

Damn that girl Audrey is so hot every time I see her i get a boner bruise.

by Blackcox44859 September 6, 2013

Douche-bruise

Noun: Injury sustained from excessive douche exposure

Adjective: The quality of being massively douchey

"I ended up talking for a half hour to some guy with too much hair gel and a screen-printed dress shirt. I have a nasty douche-bruise."

"David? Total Douchebruise."

by IDidItFirst! October 16, 2011

Dirty bruise

Bruises that occur with rough, wild sex. Grabbing, pulling, bighting (nibbling), ECT.

Baby I'm feeling frisky, I want to wake up with "dirty bruises"!

I want it so rough that I have "dirty bruises"!

by TiGhT*wOuNd&HeLlbOuNd February 22, 2020

Thigh Bruise

The bruises you get on your face when you go down on a woman and give her such a powerful orgasm she squeezes your face with her inner thighs like it's in a vice. The bruises you get are thigh bruises.

Jeff ate at the Y so well, he got thigh bruises.

by Poodleusier June 24, 2004