A publicly devout man or woman who uses their pious reputation to aid in cheating on their partners. Can be either using the excuse of church activities or "ministering" to folk as a cover for their trysts, or making ostentatious public displays of religious contrition to rehabilitate their image after being caught.
Sue: "Wow, Bob's really involved in the Church Choir."
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."
OR
Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."
Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."
OR
Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."
Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"
by Mai Ainsel July 25, 2021
Get the Jesus Cheater mug.The God's son, who keeps inconveniencing Twitch streamer and YouTuber DarkViperAU in his "chaos mod" playthroughs of GTA V. Continuesly getting spawned into the game by viewers, or just bad luck.
*DarkViperAU calmly playing GTA V with the chaos mod*, *Griefer Jesus gets spawned in* DarkViperAU: "Oh no! Griefer Jesus! He is going to kill me!"
by Mynameisgregor October 12, 2020
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This…is my Jesus is a flexibly productive ejaculation describing any person; event; timing, or situation P.E.T.S that nurtures a person as he or she experiences a tremendous personal growth spurt while maximizing their human potential. For some people it may actually be Jesus; but for others it could be a city; a person; love; a drug; a mystical experience; or a damn good burger with all the fixings. The use of this saying is very individually driven. Often usages of this saying conflict. It takes balls to use this expression publicly..
Here are some examples of how to use “This…is my Jesus” in a sentence:
Man eating a Fat Burger:”Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, this burger is my Jesus!”
Offended friend sitting with him: FOOL!!!!!! “Jesus is my Jesus”.
Man smoking particularly good Hawaiian Kona Kush exhaling and saying: “This Kush is my Jesus.”
A single man spending a month in Amsterdam overlooking the canal: “This city is my Jesus.”
Man eating a Fat Burger:”Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, this burger is my Jesus!”
Offended friend sitting with him: FOOL!!!!!! “Jesus is my Jesus”.
Man smoking particularly good Hawaiian Kona Kush exhaling and saying: “This Kush is my Jesus.”
A single man spending a month in Amsterdam overlooking the canal: “This city is my Jesus.”
by Mind Hunter the Profiler January 29, 2023
Get the This…is my Jesus mug.by Sponge April 26, 2006
Get the Jesus II mug.When a person attends Sunday Church Service and passes off the Collection Plate without putting a cent on it thus receiving a sermon for free like a dirty Gypsy.
Reverend Sharpton was preaching up a storm as the Collection Plate was getting full with $20 bills. Ol' Otis just dished it off to the next person without even blinking twice. Everyone knows he's a Jesus Gypsy and won't drop a dime.
by will bitten September 14, 2017
Get the Jesus Gypsy mug.joe: why were you late for work today mike?
mike: cause the douche-bag who drives the bus insists that he blow by my stop at Mach Jesus so he doesnt have to pick anyone up, so i missed it.
mike: cause the douche-bag who drives the bus insists that he blow by my stop at Mach Jesus so he doesnt have to pick anyone up, so i missed it.
by Sadistic11B January 15, 2009
Get the Mach Jesus mug.The best fuckin song ever written. By SLEEP. Also known as "Dopesmoker" (there are two versions available, the one called Dopesmoker is better, but it's five times as expensive as the Jerusalem version).
The song is about an hour long (52 to 63 minutes, depending on version) is about 50 BPM slow and features crazy-ass drumming, a fuzzed-out heavy bass, a guitar that sounds like a dried out riverbed in the desert (if you know what I mean) and unique vocals, something between growling and ritual chanting.
The lyrics of Jerusalem/Dopesmoker are about a caravan delivering weed to said city. They glorify cannabis in any possible way. Many new (or old, but almost never used) words are mentioned, like "Hasheeshian", "Marihuanaut" and "lungsmen".
Rather than using a "normal"song strucure (verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus etc.) Jerusalem/Dopesmoker is set up like this:
Intro, fucking awesome riff, even more fucking awesome riff, epic riff, unbelievably good guitar solo, awesome riff, even more fucking awesome riff, another epic riff, fucking awesome guitar solo, quiet part, extremely heavy highpoint of the song including another fucking awesome solo, epic riff, reprise of the first fucking awesome riff.
All in all, it is definitely worth listening to (can be found on Youtube in both versions) wether you're a Stoner, a Metalhead, a fan of psychedelic music, a fan of experimental music, or you just like to have your brain melted via your eardrums.
The song is about an hour long (52 to 63 minutes, depending on version) is about 50 BPM slow and features crazy-ass drumming, a fuzzed-out heavy bass, a guitar that sounds like a dried out riverbed in the desert (if you know what I mean) and unique vocals, something between growling and ritual chanting.
The lyrics of Jerusalem/Dopesmoker are about a caravan delivering weed to said city. They glorify cannabis in any possible way. Many new (or old, but almost never used) words are mentioned, like "Hasheeshian", "Marihuanaut" and "lungsmen".
Rather than using a "normal"song strucure (verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus etc.) Jerusalem/Dopesmoker is set up like this:
Intro, fucking awesome riff, even more fucking awesome riff, epic riff, unbelievably good guitar solo, awesome riff, even more fucking awesome riff, another epic riff, fucking awesome guitar solo, quiet part, extremely heavy highpoint of the song including another fucking awesome solo, epic riff, reprise of the first fucking awesome riff.
All in all, it is definitely worth listening to (can be found on Youtube in both versions) wether you're a Stoner, a Metalhead, a fan of psychedelic music, a fan of experimental music, or you just like to have your brain melted via your eardrums.
A: Hey man, did you ever listen to Jerusalem/Dopesmoker?
B: Yeah, forty-six point seven percent of my brain melted.
A: Same here.
B: Yeah, forty-six point seven percent of my brain melted.
A: Same here.
by Pisaura May 6, 2011
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