People of Irish descent. Considered the "Blacks of Europe" and for good reason. Scientific analysis has shown the Irish to be closer to apes than most Europeans, this is especially apparant in facial structure. Physically they have large, oversized balloon heads with relatively
small brains compared to homo sapiens. Sickly pale white
skin with bad
teeth is common.
Known to be loud and
obnoxious in behavior, and prone to alcoholism. Like to think of themselves as tough fighters, but universally known to cut and bleed easily.
Have a
long tradition of racial intolerance, and are proud of it. Males of the species often have
small penises, known as "the curse of the irish". It is believed the "baby dick syndrome" is a major cause of anger issues and alcoholism among the males. Their 'cuisine' is very simple, all foods are boiled with a minimal seasonings. A common snack is a dirty
potato fresh from the
earth,devoured with much relish! They must eat potatoes at regular intervals, failure to do so
will lead to paranoia and mental instability.(eg. "They're Always After me Lucky Charms!")
Their beverage of choice to wash the spuds down is bottled sewage known as "Guinness".
Interestingly, despite all these shortcomings, they have a "superiority complex" bordering on arrogance. It is believed this developed as a coping mechanism.
Occupation: The males are known to work as police officers, where laziness,lack of character, and
racist attitudes make them an ideal fit. Others work in non mentally demanding fields such as construction.
Mating: Often occurs while intoxicated, birth control is rarely used. Low intelligence and Fetal
Alcohol Syndrome are believed to be causative factors... Litters are large, with the
female bearing over 15 "tater tots" in an average lifespan.
Culture: Have brought the world numerous abominations such as "Riverdance", "U2",
hack/plagarist Denis Leary and the always nauseating "Dropkick Murphys".
A million Irish starved to
death during the potato famine. . .You're on an ISLAND for chrissakes, learn how to FISH, you stupid Micks!
I needs me beloved
potato NOW, Molly!!
Paddy: Kiss me, I'm Irish!!
Woman: *Vomits* Is that lipless orifice filled with rotten, jagged teeth supposed to be your mouth??