ThunderMummy's definitions

wisconsin

Was like Czechoslovakia, that is before communism came to an end, and is now worse. Has nice parts but suffers from childish inferiority complex to Illinois. That is silly, because while Chicago is a fine town, the rest of Illinois is a wasteland.

Hey, it's Wisconsin. It like going to Czechoslovakia, we'll zip in we'll zip out.

by ThunderMummy July 26, 2008

starbucks

Pure example of the power of marketing to people devoid of critical and independent thinking. Coffee chain whose business model is "what if we franchised the Death Star?" and sells millions of cups of coffee a year that tastes like it was brewed through the assholes of musty cadavers. Usually seen being consumed by soccer moms, overprivileged teenagers, and prissy douche bags who move into already gentrified urban heighborhoods but consider themselves edgy and courageous for living in the city. Just like you can get an elephant to fly if you strap a big enough jet engine on its back, Starbucks sells a shitload of coffee by forcing the idea that coffee should be expensive, shitty, and logoed to the above mentioned people.

I used to drink coffee for 60 cents a cup at my favorite diner but it was torn down to put in a Starbucks. If I wanted to drink that shit I'd microwave some rat turds in vinegar.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005

Philadelphia

Probably the most misunderstaood city in the U.S. Those not familiar with the city are usually aware of the Revolutionary history and maybe some unique quirks like cheesesteaks and pretzels. Philadelphia suffers from a bit of red headed stepchild syndrome in that it is a major population center with a unique character but largely goes unrecognized in the American psyche due to the overbearing reputation of nearby New York. The two cities are extremely different and Philadelphians take (sometimes hostile) offense to outsiders who don't bother to understand this. New Yorkers tend to have an arrogance that everything is better in their city. Actually some things are better in Philadelphia. Check it out, just don't mouth off because even though it is the City of Brotherly Love, the inhabitants aren't above giving you a brotherly pop in the mouth.

My girlfriend's folks are coming over to dinner and they have never been to Philadelphia. I guess I'd better get rid of the Schmidt's and invest in some Dockstreet.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005

scranton

Scranton is a city in north-east Pa that is, and the only way to describe it, fucked up. Built on coal when that shit is what people used to keep from dying and heat their homes in the winter (even uppity fucks from NYC who think they are a self sufficient planet and could secede from the universe)but has fallen on hard times as has the industry. The people who live there have been festering resentment at everybody while at the same time trying to maintain their dignity and history. Also, it is close to NYC and Philly so intelligent and entrepreneurial criminals set up shop there to take advantage of the situation. What does this mean, Scranton has idiosycrancies that are both cool and weird. Is so fucked up that it cannot be compared legitimately to any other city. And is a place where some kind old granny will fry you up a batch of pierogies with mangoes (green peppers in Scranton) if you ask her nicely, or some meth head will shank your spleen for the last of your warm beer. Was the home of the Molly Maguires, the original gang who fucked up shit old school. Google it sometime.

The urban planning in Scranton is thus: church, bar, church, church, bar, crackhouse, university, bar, church, bar.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005

Ape Drape

A hair style related to but distinct from the mullet, hockey hair, Kentucky waterfall, and Cincinnati toupee. The ape drape is defined by its vigorous growth and lack of part. The drape should be shorter in the front but should ease in gracefully to the shoulders without showing any signs of human intervention. In the dim light of an alley, ape drapes should give their owners the silhouette of a mountain gorilla.

I burned all photos of me in eighth grade because I was sporting an ape drape.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005

Iowa

Idiots
Out
Walking
Around

Iowa, kinda like Delaware but nowhere near the water.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005

pringle

Strange, odd and disconcerting person. Much like the food stuff that is a potato chip, but not really a potato chip

That new guy is a fucking pringle. I wouldn't be surprised if he has his whole family and a pack of squirrels buried under his crawl space.

by ThunderMummy December 28, 2005