two shits and a fuck

Not only to give a shit, or a fuck... but to actually give two shits and a fuck.

Usually used as an expression of sarcasm when you couldn't give any less than you already don't.

Joe: Hey man, check this out, I upgraded my character to Scroto on the game...

Dave: Wow... I could give two shits and a fuck about that... no... really... go swallow a knife and die.

by D.J. B May 25, 2007

two-bagger

a prospective sexual partner, who, in order to enter a sexual encounter with them, you must not only put a bag over their head, but over your own in case their's falls off.

the only single people I meet are all either ten-pinters or two-baggers!

by Borne February 14, 2006

two fries short of a happy meal

A little slow on the uptake. One who is almost smart but yet, not quite.
Crazy or stupid.
One who takes a great nation and deep sixes it into oblivion.

The current president George W. is two fries short of a happy meal! Seriously!!

by Sandi68 April 28, 2006

two bagger

A chick so ugly you put one bag over her head, and another bag over your dog's head so he doesn't lose respect for you.

Last night I had me a two bagger, and the dog suffocated.

by mnx October 11, 2005

kill two pigs with one bird

To accomplish two tasks with one action; an update of the phrase "kill two birds with one stone" via Angry Birds

Guy: Hon, I've got to go out to the post office.
Girl: While you're at it can you pick up the dry cleaning too ... kill two pigs with one bird?

by birdbomber January 26, 2011

two-hand-twist-no-teeth-slurp-choke-eyes-rolled-back-gluck-gluck-hyuck-combo

During the action of sucking a dick where the person places one hand at the base of the dick and then proceeds to suck smoothly with no teeth whilst creating a slurping sound from the saliva created; the person sucking then proceeds to deep throat twisting the wrist TWO times. All while your eyes are rolled back as if you're being choked. Twisting clockwise pulling upwards and twisting counterclockwise going down. This forbidden technique works most efficiently on larger sized chodes and not shrimps. Be cautious with this sacred move as this will make your man make a glucking and hyucking sound.

"Shii he wasn't expecting me wit da two-hand-twist-no-teeth-slurp-choke-eyes-rolled-back-gluck-gluck-hyuck-combo last night. Left asking for more!"

by Dr. Ranjeet April 22, 2020

Two-pint-Martin

A two-pint-martin is someone who drinks a fair amount of ale and then proceeds to finish the evening off with a two-pronged assault on their already suffering body, i.e. they order two pints and proceed to guzzle them simultaneously (one in each hand.

Tom Martin did this in Budapest, 2005, and made a tit out of himself.

by James Flunder February 2, 2005