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Nair Mail

You love your woman and she adores the way you use your tongue but she refuses to shave her bush. You're sore from bush wacking through her Brillo pad. So you apply a salve of agent orange to her secret garden with a mouthful of Nair. Once deforrested, she wakes up shocked to find that her Amazon had been converted to a manicured golf course. Now you can deliver your tongue to the new address.
She: I couldn't talk after the way you navigated my jungle.

He: It was hairy, Babe. I had to nair mail it before the bush came down and I found El Dorado
by HOSESLANGER June 10, 2024
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Drea-mail

When you think you sent an email to someone but it turns out you only dreamt that you did.
Did you submit that report like I told you to Larry? Did I only ask you that in a drea-mail?
by Newsfguy1 April 9, 2024
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Related Words
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ale mail

This the term for communications sent via email or text while under the influence of ale or other alcoholic beverages. They are typically not a good or even okay idea and lead to negative outcomes.
Barry was despondent when he awoke terribly hungover and read the response from Linda ending their relationship. He knew he should not have sent that ale mail last night, but he did anyway cause he a drunk ass with huge insecurities.
by von groovy October 12, 2024
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green mail

A copious attempt to gain someone’s favor or change their mind by offering them huge amounts of money.
Hey Bob, you’re the best player in the game. How’s abouts you take this Green Mail and not show up to tomorrow’s championship game?

Elvira - “I’ll never be yours Tony”…. 1 week later,
Tony - “Your man is dead, l’m the new boss,..
Elvira - “just a minute, Iet me get my coat”.
by DaMartianAC December 31, 2024
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green mail

A copious attempt to bribe someone or change their mind with huge amounts of precious metals, stones or hard cash.
Rob - “Hey Bobby, you’re the best player in the coming championship game. Hmmm, how abouts you take this Green Mail and don’t show up for the game?
Bobby - Bet! I’m out,.. cough!

Tony - One day ju gonne be my woman.
Elvira - I Doubt it. (Puffs cigarette).
One week later,…
Tony - Your man is dead. I bought you a new necklace.
Elvira - Let me move my hair, so you can put this Green Mail on me. (He puts it on her then she gives him a kiss).
by DaMartianAC December 31, 2024
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Fan-mail

When you arrive at a friend's or associates house but there not home so you masterbate in the postbox to let them know someone had called while they were gone
James wasn't in when we called round so I left him some fan-mail
by Private A.M. Bulance January 9, 2025
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Orange Mail

Orange Mail occurs when a person with Orange Skin tries to black mail you into doing something for them
yo bro coming from you that’s Orange Mail bro don’t play with me !
by 1Shot Duke January 31, 2025
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