Closet Piece

a girl who is friends with a guy and the guy secretly has feelings for the girl but doesn't want to show them because the girl isn't the typical aesthetic norm that they would date

TAYLOR: I really like Luke...
BRIANA: Well, does Luke like you back?
TAYLOR: Yes, but he won't do anything about it!
BRIANA: Why not? If he likes you, there shouldn't be a problem.
TAYLOR: I'm not a size zero, I'm short and my thighs are too thick... He won't date me because I don't look like all the other girls. But, he still fucks me every now and then.
BRIANA: Damn, you're his closet piece.

by boosadleys June 12, 2016

Closet Escaper

Person who successfully accepted that they're gay or successfully escaped Narnia.

Did you hear about Colton? He's finally came out! He's a closet escaper!

by Cheeseburger69 March 18, 2016

Closet Archive

When you are so behind on laundry that you have to wear grey sweats-on-grey sweats that you haven’t worn since high school, but religiously wore when you did.

People at my community college I went to high school with probably recognize now that I’m wearing clothes from my closet archives that I wore during my depression.

by mws1eee October 22, 2025

Closeted Erectosexual

When you get a massive amount of dog mud on your frontal and eternal.

Sam: Darnley get off of me you’re covered in dog mud!
Jackson: Darnley is honestly such a closeted erectosexual.

by Poopassjackson June 28, 2018

closet kicker

a homosexual male that kicks other men in the testicles to hide their gayness. They are also frustrated that their penis size it abnormally small so they feel other men should be the same size they do this by kicking them in the testicles

Johnny kicked me in the balls the other day must be because he's a closet kicker

by rhino-potamous June 23, 2010

Closet Jacker

An overly competitive alpha-male who refuses to accept defeat; or when defeated, is a total bitch about it, see also veenus master.

Once Tyrone lost by a free-throw, he's been nothing but a closet jacker in all our pickup games.

by Chuck Denniston October 5, 2018

Closet Achiever

Closet Achiever - Overachiever on the down-low.

Closet achiever defined by actions.
When they say "oh I dont care, I just want to pass" but pissed when they miss a question or 2 in a exam
When you made an A but its a low A.
It's really "Closet Overachiever" but its that hidden so we dont put the word over-
Constantly competing when its not a competition.
When a student complains, "ooh that test was hard" but made a perfect score

by Passingscore May 6, 2019