Skeet Jesus

When I person wanking, they blow their load onto a wall or bedshet, or your best friends mom. It makes the appearance of Jesus Christ himself.

Chip made a Skeet Jesus on Matt's mom!

by Holyswagness December 31, 2013

Traffic Jesus

A driver (male/female) known to ALWAYS allow others the right-of-way, often causing his/her passengers to become angry at them for being overly nice to any and all traffic.

Dan: "Dude, your dad is always letting other people go first, even when it's HIS turn. No wonder we're always late.."

Chris:"I know man, he's a total traffic jesus."

by SeñorFrog January 23, 2017

african jesus

A Black holy spirit named after a holy god Jesus

Damn that black african jesus is cute

by YJHR June 16, 2017

long jesus dick

A haitian proverb about how haitians have fourth Johnson in whole world.

Mines gots a long jesus dick my friends! Not an smalls american one YES

by Juzztn December 5, 2017

porcelain jesus

Any toilet in which one part takes in excretion.

Ex.

To shit or piss
To throw up

Fuck , did you see Rihanna sucking Charlie Sheens cock on the porcelain jesus? Dude got a blumpkin! LEGENDARY!

by PattyCakes May 3, 2018

beach jesus

That guy with jesus like hair found on the beach always without a shirt. He is seen commonly fishing or walking the beach without a shirt on. Always has beer, and always offers one to you.

Guy 1: Did you see Beach Jesus there today on the beach?
Guy 2: Yeah he gave me a beer and showed me where the babes hang out.

by Zc33 May 8, 2018

Tape Jesus

A formal religion that exists in only certain minds. It is nearly impossible to join because Jesus is part of a clout gang.

Unfortunately, Tape Jesus is unavailable because his cult is worshipping him at the moment.

by Tape Jesus’s Secretary December 22, 2018