Schrödinger's Ape Paradox

Apes that are simultaneously retarded and highly informed.

I guess all their fancy quantum physics models failed to solve the Schrödinger's Ape paradox.

Turns out that Apes are simultaneously retarded and highly-informed, resulting in Kenny having to quantum oscillate deez nuts.

by TrueBananaMonkey November 19, 2021

Girthy’s Paradox

This paradox is described as when Male A cannot create sperm to have children and Male B donates a working testicle to Male A. Then when Male A has a child with the new working testicle is the child Male A’s or is it really Male B’s?

Woah that’s crazy, are you sure that’s his child or did Girthy’s Paradox throw us for a loop?

by GIRTHYMONSTER69 September 2, 2021

American dream paradox

A harsh reality that many people come to the United States in order to start over and live a better life by having freedom, social equality, better education, and money, but yet for most people who come to this country, this dream will be impossible to completely achieve until several generations later, assuming they have a family with children, because of limited resource access and education, poor understanding of the social norms that most people in America actually follow, and distrust of immigrants in some parts of the country.

Pema and her family moved to America from Nicaragua in the hopes of starting over and help her children live better lives than what they had in their homeland, but they found it was exceedingly difficult to live in the U.S. because of the differences of America’s social norms compared to Nicaragua’s social norms and difficulty getting a job and finding decent housing. They are experiencing the American dream paradox.

by Vanguard 1998 September 11, 2021

The Cringe Paradox

A paradox in which the use of the word cringe is, in essence, cringe, thus creating an endless cycle of cringe.

Guy 1: That's cringe.
Guy 2: Using cringe is cringe dude.
Guy 3: Ah yes, the Cringe Paradox in action.

by cringecringecringe January 5, 2022

The Mom Paradox

When you struggle with something and call for help, and the other person solves the problem by just existing and you look like an idiot.

You can't find your favorite shirt after an hour of looking and your mom finds it in your closet in 5 seconds? Mom Paradox.

Your computer keeps crashing but when you call IT everything works like new? Mom Paradox.

Kid: "Mom the TV isn't turning on something is wrong"
Mom: *presses the ON button on the TV and it works just find* "What's the problem?"
Kid: "The Mom Paradox"
Mom: *proceeds to beat the kid*

by Guulagg February 22, 2022

The Point Dexter Paradigm

When the shy Caucasian male that no one talks to turns out to be packing a whole meat sandwich.

Tiffany: Eww, Tommy’s so gross
Emma: You’re right… but what if he’s packing

Tiffany: No way. Just look at him
Emma: But what about the Point Dexter Paradigm?

by UIU Speed Team March 9, 2022

The Limza Paradox

“The Limza Paradox” or “Linny Paradox” is referenced under the circumstances that when too much emotional attachment is existent in a specified setting, the other person will detach and disappear from any form of commitment. This paradox is typically active in the event of complicated relationships, or under situations that may require emotional numbness.

“This guy was extremely toxic, so I hit him with the Limza Paradox.”

“I had to pull a Linny on him.”

by CommonGoalAccreditom March 29, 2022