Couch crotch

When your genitals develop a smelly smell after prolonged couch sitting. Usually from build up of sweat from sitting too long and/or persitant need of showering.

I spent the day off playing video games and my girlfriend wont have sex with me because I have couch crotch.

I really need to shower, I have some serious couch crotch.

by Lilbritt October 22, 2018

couch guru

A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.

My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.

by Colberttoldmeto August 23, 2016

couch arrest

When you are in a state that requires you to sleep on the couch it can be for a night a week or months. Couch arrest can happen in a relationship when the other people don't want you in the bed or it can be with roommates who don't have a bed to sleep in and you got to sleep on the couch it can either suck badly or be really cool depending on the situation

I'm on couch arrest tonight

by Swaggy Jeff September 12, 2022

couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching p0rnpoise, because the concept of true human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave Vance fellow turned out to be a real, self-described couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024

Fucked the Couch

When you fail at a big opportunity, because going offline and talking to normal people exposes how weird and extreme your politics are. Similar to "showed my power level."

"He was up for the position, but he started talking about how women are the property of their husbands, and should get married at age fifteen. They really fucked the couch when they hired him."

by JSpaulding August 10, 2024

if the couch is rockin’, don’t come knockin’

a quote about having fun from emily in 401

me: what are you doing tonight?
emily: a guy from mutual is coming over!
me: oh cool!

emily: if the couch is rockin’, don’t come knockin’!

by strawberryshortcake9 September 3, 2020

Couching

Couching (verb): When you go to a show or the club and sprawl out on 3 seats (or more) as if it's a couch, and every time you move, the seat goes up and down, causing a distinct noise. Couching is highly disruptive to other's viewing and general enjoyment. True couching is defined by the noise that is made from the couch which is disruptive and annoying, causing participants in the general area to exclaim comments of irritation.

"ohhhhh damn, Mike be couching it AGAIN and it's killing my vibe."

by Strictly Handjobs January 23, 2016