couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching ‘Flipper’ reruns, ‘Zeus and Roxanne,’ etc. , because the concept of human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave fellow turned out to be a real couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024

couch

were you fuck your girlfriend.

Boy: ima put you on da couch!
Girl: what i dont want to!
Boy too bad! oo oo oh ya!

by yourdadisnotcoolsooof October 5, 2020

cough couch

when you are asked if your going somewhere

“are you going to the store?”
“cough couch yes/cough couch no”

by poopei October 6, 2020

The Couch

The couch is a couch in every theater department, usually in a practice room or above the stage, that is strictly used for sex.

Person 1: I saw Liam and Ella go up to The Couch

Person 2: oh is that why it’s a different color

by Professional Among Us September 7, 2021

couch chip

that one crusty potato chip you found in the couch. you don't know how long it's been there, and it's begun to breed life, but you're pretty fuckin hungry so you decide to eat it.

bad idea.

Person 1: "I just a couch chip"
Person 2: "Oh fuck"

by BigManDouggieGExceptTheGIsLL March 28, 2023

Couch Collector

Someone who is never satisfied with the couch they currently have.

Henry: "Dude, my mom keeps buying couches, and then they aren't good enough to her... so we donate them to Salvation Army. But since I'm a guy, I have to move them all. We've had like 5 different couches in the last 2 years!"

Matthew: "Bro.. she a couch collector."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019

Ethan Couch ain't got nuthin' on me

A "modern day" variation on the classic "I'll be able to call David Rockefeller a tramp" saying, and used to humorously refer to your having made a modest profit and/or unexpectedly gained a few bucks extra on a difficult job you recently completed.

Cool hunk #1, seeing his buddy --- who had jokingly told him earlier that morning that he was "wearing himself out getting rich" by driving here and there around town for a couple hours to give several people car-rides for a few bucks apiece --- feverishly lugging humongous bundles of bagged returnable-containers along a hot dusty highway: Gettin' too rich there, Dude?
Cool hunk #2: Yeah, fer sher, Pal --- I declare, I'm gettin' so gol-durned filthy-rich that I can hardly even carry all my vast wealth around! Ethan Couch ain't got nuthin' on me!

by QuacksO August 17, 2018