When you place a females underwear over you head and wank yourself off, usually with used underwear: the smellier the better.
Named so becuase one resembles spiderman with both eyes looking out through the leg holes.
Named so becuase one resembles spiderman with both eyes looking out through the leg holes.
Bob: I had a spiderman wank with your underwear last night, it fucking stank!
Sally: That's not my underwear, I'm helping old Mrs. Clegg with her laundry, she is 95 you know.
Bob: Ah well, I wondered why they smelled of fish AND cheese, but enjoyed it nonetheless.
Sally: I want a divorce.
Sally: That's not my underwear, I'm helping old Mrs. Clegg with her laundry, she is 95 you know.
Bob: Ah well, I wondered why they smelled of fish AND cheese, but enjoyed it nonetheless.
Sally: I want a divorce.
by Simjimbimalim August 04, 2006
a prude who is opposed to discussion of wanking in casual conversation and who is against people wanking at social gatherings
by the pokey pan June 24, 2008
A competition of who can wank the longest, at full speed, without cumming.
11 years and younger can't play cause they never will cum.
11 years and younger can't play cause they never will cum.
by bastardized bottomburp May 28, 2003
A fuck that's only marginally better than a wank (ie. having sex with this chick will only be slightly better than masturbating to your best pornographic material).
Technically a term that only applies to 6's, but apply to all normal day women so you know there's nothing at stake.
Technically a term that only applies to 6's, but apply to all normal day women so you know there's nothing at stake.
A guy sees your run-of-the-mill hot chick and is not impressed.
Guy 1: She's a wank and a half, isn't she?
Guy 2: Totally.
A chick is a WAAH if she's only got her physical appearance and it's not even of supermodel quality.
Say WAAH!!!
Guy 1: She's a wank and a half, isn't she?
Guy 2: Totally.
A chick is a WAAH if she's only got her physical appearance and it's not even of supermodel quality.
Say WAAH!!!
by Mr. Tangfastic February 17, 2009
A Wank And A Half, the yardstick for a women’s performance in bed.
(see Wank Rank: A superior way of objectifying women.)
Instead of the inaccurate number system, whereby a women is given a number based on their level of attractiveness between 1-10, she may be better objectified according to her performance, perceived or otherwise, in the sack.
Using the act of masturbation as a unit of measurement, a women may be ranked like so, in no particular order:
A Wank And A Half
A Wank And A Bit
A Wank And Three Quarters, if she’s really good.
And…
Worse Than A Wank
Based on a universal, non-esoteric unit of measure, the Wank Rank is the preferred Lay-person’s description of women.
(see Wank Rank: A superior way of objectifying women.)
Instead of the inaccurate number system, whereby a women is given a number based on their level of attractiveness between 1-10, she may be better objectified according to her performance, perceived or otherwise, in the sack.
Using the act of masturbation as a unit of measurement, a women may be ranked like so, in no particular order:
A Wank And A Half
A Wank And A Bit
A Wank And Three Quarters, if she’s really good.
And…
Worse Than A Wank
Based on a universal, non-esoteric unit of measure, the Wank Rank is the preferred Lay-person’s description of women.
Guy 1: Check her out, what do you think she is?
Guy 2: A 6, getting on to 7.
Guy 1: No, I mean what do you think she’s like, in bed?
Guy 2: Oh, you mean her Wank Rank?
Guy 1: Course.
Guy 2: A Wank And A Half?
Next day.
Guy 1: So, how was she?
Guy 2: In Layman’s terms, a Wank And A Quarter.
Guy 1: Ooh, I’m sorry.
Guy 2: Yeah, it was disappointing. I’ve got to stop overestimating chicks. Hey, I never heard what you thought.
Guy 1: What, you mean what Wank Rank I gave her in my head?
Guy 2: Yeah. You’ve always been better at placing women than me.
Guy 1: It comes with practice.
Guy 2: So what did you think?
Guy 1: Well, it’s kind of pointless now, seeing as how you’ve already had sex with her.
Guy 2: Well, I still want to know.
Guy 1: It doesn’t matter.
Guy 2: Come on.
Guy 1: You really want to know?
Guy 2: Yeah, of course.
Guy 1: Well… I kinda knew she’d be Worse Than A Wank.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: Yeah, you had a lot to drink last night, and you were seriously hung-over this morning, but yeah, she looked awful.
Guy 2: Worse Than A Wank? No way, she couldn’t have been that bad.
Guy 1: No seriously, she was like an inch of makeup, cancerously tanned and looks like she may have a venereal disease.
Guy 2: WHAT? And you let me take her home?
Guy 1: Yeah, sorry about that.
Guy 2: I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AIDS!
Guy 1: Yeah, it’s almost enough to make you stick to wanking, or go gay.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: I said it’s enough to make you want to abandon women altogether.
Guy 2: Are you trying to tell me something?
Guy 1: Yeah.
Pause.
Guy 1: I’m gay.
Guy 2: I gathered.
Guy 2: A 6, getting on to 7.
Guy 1: No, I mean what do you think she’s like, in bed?
Guy 2: Oh, you mean her Wank Rank?
Guy 1: Course.
Guy 2: A Wank And A Half?
Next day.
Guy 1: So, how was she?
Guy 2: In Layman’s terms, a Wank And A Quarter.
Guy 1: Ooh, I’m sorry.
Guy 2: Yeah, it was disappointing. I’ve got to stop overestimating chicks. Hey, I never heard what you thought.
Guy 1: What, you mean what Wank Rank I gave her in my head?
Guy 2: Yeah. You’ve always been better at placing women than me.
Guy 1: It comes with practice.
Guy 2: So what did you think?
Guy 1: Well, it’s kind of pointless now, seeing as how you’ve already had sex with her.
Guy 2: Well, I still want to know.
Guy 1: It doesn’t matter.
Guy 2: Come on.
Guy 1: You really want to know?
Guy 2: Yeah, of course.
Guy 1: Well… I kinda knew she’d be Worse Than A Wank.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: Yeah, you had a lot to drink last night, and you were seriously hung-over this morning, but yeah, she looked awful.
Guy 2: Worse Than A Wank? No way, she couldn’t have been that bad.
Guy 1: No seriously, she was like an inch of makeup, cancerously tanned and looks like she may have a venereal disease.
Guy 2: WHAT? And you let me take her home?
Guy 1: Yeah, sorry about that.
Guy 2: I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AIDS!
Guy 1: Yeah, it’s almost enough to make you stick to wanking, or go gay.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: I said it’s enough to make you want to abandon women altogether.
Guy 2: Are you trying to tell me something?
Guy 1: Yeah.
Pause.
Guy 1: I’m gay.
Guy 2: I gathered.
by Mr Tangfastic February 25, 2009
A Wank-Shake is a filthy prank played by mcdonald's employees on innocent customers, who purchase any variety of milkshake, from a drive thru. to do this male employees will wack off into your milkshake thus creating a Wank-Shake. The symptoms of obtaining a Wank-Shake are: extra saltyness, your straw becoming blocked due to chilled spunk, stickyness after drinking milkshake and most of all, circular swirls of cream/white in your milkshake, due to a cheap attempt to cover it up.
Customer: "excuse me sir, i didn't want vanilla swirl in my milkshake!!"
Employee: "noo mate thats no vanilla!!!, (sniggers to others).
Larry: "did you sort that posh twat in the mercedes a Wank-Shake".
Barry: "ov'coarse mate, a nice steamy one, Wank my cock!! haha!!!!"..
Larry: "Lerious-character!!! hahaha!!".
Employee: "noo mate thats no vanilla!!!, (sniggers to others).
Larry: "did you sort that posh twat in the mercedes a Wank-Shake".
Barry: "ov'coarse mate, a nice steamy one, Wank my cock!! haha!!!!"..
Larry: "Lerious-character!!! hahaha!!".
by k-k-KenZi June 20, 2007
<verb><noun> Slang;
1) To rub one's genitals between a pair of breasts to cause orgasm.
2) Offensive slang; An insult.
1) To rub one's genitals between a pair of breasts to cause orgasm.
2) Offensive slang; An insult.
1) "Oh my god, I am having the uberest orgasm ever due to this extremely nice tit-wank you have bestowed upon my person."
2) "Dave, you silly tit-wank get back here before I burn your gerbil."
2) "Dave, you silly tit-wank get back here before I burn your gerbil."
by Stuart Fletcher January 18, 2005