Similar to the rumored five-fingered Kung-Fu pimp slap of death, Canada's History is a sexual technique which can alternately lead to either a 36-hour orgasm .... or death.
Instruments used to initiate the illicit 'Canada's History' include a harmonica, a Plastic Man action figure, 2 lbs. of Wendigo fur, a vat of maple syrup, a jar of Nutella, a live duck, 2 packets of duck sauce, the Stanley Cup (full-size replica is allowed), a moose (live or mounted), a kazoo, the complete works of Era Pound, a tazer gun, 4 oz. of tatto ink, a ball gag, and a roll of Canadian quarters. For best results, individuals attempting Canada's History should have endured either a colonoscopy or a pedicure just hours before attempting the procedure.
International treaties prohibit the actual depiction of the technique, although a loophole allows us to provide a list of individuals who may or may not have attempted (and possible even survived) Canada's History:
Betty White
William Shatner
Grape Ape
Lex Luthor
Pres. William McKinley
D. B. Cooper
The black guy from Ghostbusters
Ronald McDonald
Naomi Wolf
Glen Beck
John Luvitz
Redd Foxx
and Rhea Perlman
Instruments used to initiate the illicit 'Canada's History' include a harmonica, a Plastic Man action figure, 2 lbs. of Wendigo fur, a vat of maple syrup, a jar of Nutella, a live duck, 2 packets of duck sauce, the Stanley Cup (full-size replica is allowed), a moose (live or mounted), a kazoo, the complete works of Era Pound, a tazer gun, 4 oz. of tatto ink, a ball gag, and a roll of Canadian quarters. For best results, individuals attempting Canada's History should have endured either a colonoscopy or a pedicure just hours before attempting the procedure.
International treaties prohibit the actual depiction of the technique, although a loophole allows us to provide a list of individuals who may or may not have attempted (and possible even survived) Canada's History:
Betty White
William Shatner
Grape Ape
Lex Luthor
Pres. William McKinley
D. B. Cooper
The black guy from Ghostbusters
Ronald McDonald
Naomi Wolf
Glen Beck
John Luvitz
Redd Foxx
and Rhea Perlman
"Hey, man, are you still getting laid when you go to Niagara Falls for vacation?'
"Well, let's just say Canada's History and leave it at that."
"Well, let's just say Canada's History and leave it at that."
by ScrantonWordMeister February 10, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. by Colbertaphile February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. by cottagecheese420 February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sexual act more vulgar, depraved, and degrading than The Aristocrats. A woman is bound and gagged and forced down onto her hands and knees, where a man pours several bottles of maple syrup on the Stanley Cup before forcibly inserting it into her ass. The woman must then keep the trophy in her ass as the man stands the Stanley Cup upright. He then puts on a set of moose antlers, climbs up the cup and on top of the woman, where he fucks her pussy and forces the Stanley Cup deeper into her ass.
by TheChill51999 February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. the rapist performed canada's history
by falcon4 is a douche February 4, 2010
Get the canada's historymug. Little Canada is a suburb of St. Paul MN. Everyone knows that Canadians are retarded, so someone who lives in Little Canada is a little retarded.
Dude 1 "have you seen the internet video of the retard from Burger King singing 'Ding Fries Are Done'?"
Dude 2 "Yeah!! Hes from Little Canada!"
Dude 1 "So's your MOM!!"
Dude 2 (hangs head and whispers) "how did you know abooot that, eh? We are shamed."
Dude 2 "Yeah!! Hes from Little Canada!"
Dude 1 "So's your MOM!!"
Dude 2 (hangs head and whispers) "how did you know abooot that, eh? We are shamed."
by QBeezley July 22, 2008
Get the Little Canadamug. 1. Sex with Stephen Colbert, or masturbating to a sexual fantasy involving Stephen Colbert.
2. Sexual acts using maple syrup as a lubricant; so named because it is often a very memorable experience.
3. The term for a group of sex acts so depraved that even to describe them to a consenting adult in the privacy of your home amounts to a violation of censorship laws.
4. The term given to a case history of someone who suffers from a rare sexual disorder resulting from their involvement in sex acts perpetrated by officials employed by the Canadian government during the late 1990's and early 2000's.
2. Sexual acts using maple syrup as a lubricant; so named because it is often a very memorable experience.
3. The term for a group of sex acts so depraved that even to describe them to a consenting adult in the privacy of your home amounts to a violation of censorship laws.
4. The term given to a case history of someone who suffers from a rare sexual disorder resulting from their involvement in sex acts perpetrated by officials employed by the Canadian government during the late 1990's and early 2000's.
1. Your friend: Do you fantasize about Jon Stewart?
You: Sure, Jon Stewart is great. But tonight I feel the only thing that's really going to hit the spot is a little lesson in "Canada's History" (wink, wink).
2. Your friend: What did you do last night?
You: I gave my girl a bit of Canada's History she won't soon forget!
3. We were feeling especially naughty, so we talked about Canada's History all night.
4. Psychiatrist 1: I really wanted to help that poor man, but I had no choice but to tell him that our clinic could not assist him in any way.
Psychiatrist 2: Why not?
Psychiatrist 1: He was afflicted with Canada's History.
Psychiatrist: Those syrup-sucking bastards...
You: Sure, Jon Stewart is great. But tonight I feel the only thing that's really going to hit the spot is a little lesson in "Canada's History" (wink, wink).
2. Your friend: What did you do last night?
You: I gave my girl a bit of Canada's History she won't soon forget!
3. We were feeling especially naughty, so we talked about Canada's History all night.
4. Psychiatrist 1: I really wanted to help that poor man, but I had no choice but to tell him that our clinic could not assist him in any way.
Psychiatrist 2: Why not?
Psychiatrist 1: He was afflicted with Canada's History.
Psychiatrist: Those syrup-sucking bastards...
by Buzz_killington February 17, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug.