human fly trap

When you nut on your pillow or sheets then proceed to lay in it.

After the rim job I turned the bed into a human fly trap

by FlyTrapGod November 1, 2019

Human Water Hose

When you shove a garden hose up your ass and put that fucker on jet, then hope for the best

I’m so close to committing human water hose right now!

by Mikeox big November 29, 2019

Human Flapjacking

Two people sexually pressing their bodies together with syrup between them (butter optional) while masturbating each other.

Bill: You want Aunt Jemima or Mrs Buttersworth?
Bill 2: For what?
Bill: I thought we were going to try Human Flapjacking tonight?
Bill 2: Oh shit, that’s right. Get some Buttersworth. Speaking of, don’t forget some butter.
Bill: Margarine ok?
Bill 2: No, Bill, it is not. I have standards.

by Wolf Edmunds December 7, 2019

Human

Featherless biped

Humans have ruined natural selection.

by Theshadowgod2005 December 30, 2019

Human CentiPAX

A term for the phenomenon of people ripping too many farts in a large crowd, under the cover of anonymity. The collective offense hangs so thick in the air, the farts are not only in your mouth, but travel the whole way down such that you fart other people’s farts. The cycle is perpetuated by other people then farting your farts.

This often occurs at gaming conventions, where many attendees need reminders to practice basic hygiene.

Pax East 2020 was the smelliest convention I ever attended, it was like being in the middle position of a Human CentiPAX.

by Filthy Richard March 2, 2020

Humans

A virus that has an incubation period of roughly 200,000 Earth years. When symptoms first appear, the patient's health rapidly deteriorates. There has only been one confirmed patient of this disease but the victim's little cousin, Moon, showed signs of the infection a couple of decades ago.

Humans are highly infectious and has a yet known mortality rate due to low patient numbers. However judging by the sole victim's health condition, it is soon to be 100%.

by SecretIdentity_ April 12, 2020

Human Dunce-cap

A cunt burger. Someone so unbelievably stupid they may as well be named Mordecai or Emily. A sub-human to the extent of being compared to an inanimate object. Basically, a chair so lazy and idiotic it would need to lie down before being used and subsequently break itself

Emily: I can't believe people don't like pickled lettuce on their pizza.
Sam: You fucking human dunce-cap

by kry0stat1s April 17, 2020