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Split second cranberry sauce

Wanna watch me make my split second cranberry sauce? To late you blinked
by Little UnderLord November 25, 2023
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Cocknana Split

Sex while simultaneously standing on your head, thrusting, and doing the splits. Usually the beneficial aftermath of sending a photo of a cocknana.
Always stretch prior to attempting a cocknana split, and bring whipped cream for added satisfaction.
by DJ, Chee Sed November 7, 2021
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Alabama Banana Split

A sexual stunt involving a male and female - preferably siblings or first cousins - where the man shoves his thumbs into the meatus of his urethra and wrenches his hands sideways with enough force to rip the penis in half down to the base. The remaining urethra hole in the base is then filled with whipped cream, after which the destroyed penis is promptly given a blowjob by the female.
Holy shit, Greg just got given the Alabama Banana Split! I think he's going to bleed out!
by BonesTheWendigo July 29, 2021
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An extremely homosexual, soulless individual of unknown species. Seems to be afraid of holy water and salt.
Joe “Splitting” “etc” DiMarzo is the living embodiment of an expired cheeto.
by Gongart42066621173869 September 8, 2018
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Split

Did a split for the cash
Did a split for the cash
by Tracyb66 September 23, 2020
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Jovian Split

A predictive algorithmic structure used to determine the probable outcomes of ranked online video game matches by analyzing complex, non-linear sequences in historical match data. The Jovian Split identifies statistically significant clusters in performance trends such as, team skill composition, recurring causes of defeat, opponent behavioral variance, time-of-day performance shifts, and geographically-induced server-side team configuration mismatches. It relies on stochastic modeling and probabilistic inference to surface outcome patterns that repeat under specific conditions with exceptional predictive power.

In practical terms, a Jovian Split may refer to a sharply defined trajectory of outcomes, such as a 2-win, 6-loss, 9-win, 1-loss, 90-win sequence emerging predictably when key factors align. While not deterministic, the system operates with greater accuracy than standard ranking metrics like ELO or MMR. It is used to forecast competitive outcomes, identify matchmaking anomalies, and model the influence of hidden variables on win probabilities.
"The team’s sudden 5-win, 7-loss, 10-win streak isn’t random — it’s a classic Jovian Split forming, triggered by roster consistency and repeated exposure to the same match pool."

The term originates from Jovian of Ephesus, an 8th-century proto-statistician and philosopher known for applying early probabilistic reasoning to public contests and athletic games. Through obsessive documentation of variables ranging from competitor lineage to environmental disturbances and officiating inconsistencies, Jovian developed an early framework for prediction that laid dormant for centuries. His approach was revived and adapted to digital competition in the modern era, where the same principles now govern the understanding of match outcome dynamics, known collectively as the Jovian Split.
by xr100rr July 8, 2025
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Split in the Classroom

This is the term used for when you tell your girl she need to spread her ass out so you can stick your fat cock in it
Bitch, bend over and split in the classroom
by TheNigBigga March 11, 2020
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