A two-wheeled traffic hazard wrapped in $400 worth of neon spandex who truly believes public roads are their personal Tour de France training ground. Usually spotted blocking the entire lane, preaching about “sharing the road” while sharing absolutely none of it.
They’ll ride three-wide through traffic, run red lights like they’re optional, and still look you dead in the eyes like you’re the problem. Owns a $6,000 carbon bike named something pretentious like AeroSoul X-9000, drinks beet juice “for performance,” and logs every ride on Strava like they’re saving humanity.
And heaven forbid you pass one. They’ll lose their Lycra-covered minds. Just ask Gary Peacock — the legendary Park City cyclist who called the cops on a kid named Pierce for daring to drive by him. This man literally opened the guy’s car door and shouted, “I have more rights than you!” while sweating righteousness onto the pavement. That’s the final evolution of the species: the Cop-Summoning Bike Paladin.
Then they gather in packs, vibrating with caffeine and moral superiority, taking up the whole road like a rolling cult of reflective tape and trauma. AND WHY ARE YOU ALL GOING 14 MPH UPHILL BUT 60 MPH DOWN? PICK A SPEED, GREG! YOU’RE NOT IN THE TOUR, YOU’RE GOING TO PANERA!
They’ll ride three-wide through traffic, run red lights like they’re optional, and still look you dead in the eyes like you’re the problem. Owns a $6,000 carbon bike named something pretentious like AeroSoul X-9000, drinks beet juice “for performance,” and logs every ride on Strava like they’re saving humanity.
And heaven forbid you pass one. They’ll lose their Lycra-covered minds. Just ask Gary Peacock — the legendary Park City cyclist who called the cops on a kid named Pierce for daring to drive by him. This man literally opened the guy’s car door and shouted, “I have more rights than you!” while sweating righteousness onto the pavement. That’s the final evolution of the species: the Cop-Summoning Bike Paladin.
Then they gather in packs, vibrating with caffeine and moral superiority, taking up the whole road like a rolling cult of reflective tape and trauma. AND WHY ARE YOU ALL GOING 14 MPH UPHILL BUT 60 MPH DOWN? PICK A SPEED, GREG! YOU’RE NOT IN THE TOUR, YOU’RE GOING TO PANERA!
by racoo01 October 24, 2025
Get the douchebag cyclistmug. Someone who says they were spreading misinformation based on if they were actually factually incorrect,
pretending as if they knew they were wrong the whole time.
Sometimes these types of people like to call people who see through the "misinformation" "nerds", as they are too egotistical to admit that they were just being a "dumbass".
pretending as if they knew they were wrong the whole time.
Sometimes these types of people like to call people who see through the "misinformation" "nerds", as they are too egotistical to admit that they were just being a "dumbass".
by not lakepants February 15, 2024
Get the schrodinger’s douchebagmug. A bag guys carry around keeping track of womans douches to make sure that crazy bitch aint pregnant.
by Crazy lady r trippin November 12, 2014
Get the Douchebagmug. John is an asshole but he gets things done. Dave on the other hand is a total Douchebag; he'll fuck you over in a heartbeat just to look good to the boss.
by Droobiedoo July 20, 2015
Get the Douchebagmug. An extremely bad liar. Someone who thinks they are convincing in their lies but are in fact not. "Ladies man" or think they are. Goes and does whoever he can. Usually has initials as they're name of choice!
by Lollilol45 May 28, 2014
Get the Douchebagmug. A male who wears Calvin Klein, Ugg boots, Crocs, LuLu Lemon or equivalent, who drives a Subaru, especially an STI
by Bpit4 May 31, 2024
Get the Douchebagmug. Inziewienzie
> inziewienzie says something stupid and doesn't take accountability
This person is a huge Schrodinger's Douchebag
This person is a huge Schrodinger's Douchebag
by Xalter September 10, 2025
Get the Schrodinger's Douchebagmug.