Big Jesus

Any van larger than a "soccer mom" car can be called a "big jesus". The term alludes to such 4 row vans used by travelling church groups, which can seat around 8-10 people at maximum capacity. (These types of cars are also often used by campers and carpoolers.)

The term can be used as a size and appearance description with or without implication. A noncommittal use of the term in reference to one's own (or a friend's/family's) car can constitute the term as more of a pet name than sarcastic or mocking. However the term can easily be darkly mocking, mildly to moderately sarcastic and passive aggressive- a common implication being that that the speaker has a dislike or little patience for organized religions and their public visibility of character and/or influence common in areas like the American bible belt.
1: Person A- "Did you get stuck riding in the big jesus to the feild trip?"

Person B- "Ya, I was herded in with a bunch of other people."

2: Person A- "Mom's going to pick us up in big jesus."

Person B- "Ok."

3: (In a parking lot) Person A- "Yikes, look, it's a big jesus."

Person B- "Weirdos, freaks and bigots, oh my!"

Person A- "Hahaha, too true."
by Cheschyr July 13, 2010
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Jesus

by tysan ibraTyson ibrahim cha January 01, 2018
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Sneaky Jesus

1) Technique used by popular Christian bands to 'sneak' Jesus or religious themes into their music.

2) The act of stealthily slipping a crucifix into the anus of one's partner during sexual intimacy.
Don't trust Keaton, he'll give you a Sneaky Jesus when you're not lookin'.
by Sarah, Liz, Mike January 03, 2006
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The Redneck Jesus

The man known here on earth as Dale Earnhardt. Dale Earnhardt is the Light and the Way. He died so that your drinking of imported beer would be forgiven. He suffered, died, and most of the pieces they found were buried. He has risen again, as Danica Patrick, and will come again from Formula One to judge NASCAR and its fans.

He is seated at the right hand of the Father (Elvis), and his Kingdom will have no end. Amen, y'all.
"The Redneck Jesus, Dale Earnhardt, died for your sins."

"Thou shalt not turn right."
by Anferny Tyrone Jackson August 28, 2006
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Jesus Nade

A phrase used in Shooter type games that involve Grenades.

Usually a randomly thrown Grenade that seems to come out of nowhere and kill you.
Upon watching the "Killcam" you discover the Grenade bounced off 4 different walls before finally detonating directly where you are.

Sometimes followed by a "Rage Quit".
BLaacKeN: Watch this nade spot FTW. I bet i get a double.

*throws nade*
*nade kills trevasco on the other side of the map*

trevasco: Wow where the fuck did that shit come from?!

*watches killcam*

trevasco: Yeah i WOULD get hit with a Jesus Nade.
Thanks alot Infinity Ward. Way to fuck up.

"trevasco left the game"
by BLaacKeN March 09, 2010
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jesus

adj. Describing something REALLY awesome, like the namesake. If using the word is contrary to your religious beliefs, it is acceptable to use the Spanish pronunciation: "hay-soose."
"The Harry Potter series is so jesus."

"Barack Obama is so jesus."

"My hair is so jesus today."
by Hasotweb December 07, 2009
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