SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

Uncle rub

The act of touching a females genitalia over her pants or dress

That creepy guy at the party totally uncle rubbed me while we were dancing

by ELBENO99 October 16, 2016

suicide rub

When a female is masturbating, right before busting your nut yell "MOM!" or "DAD!" and try to finish before said person enters the room.

Oh girl I can’t go out tonight I got grounded when I failed the suicide rub.

by Ur actually mother April 26, 2020

Buckle rubbing

A southern phrase that means grinding and/or dry humping that usually leads to sexual intercourse.

Me and Caroline went out last night and before we knew it we were buckle rubbing and the rest is history

by Dietdoctorpepper6701 May 19, 2016

jelly rub

Is when a female uses jelly as lube to masturbate with. Preferably don't use any jelly with seeds, that could be painful

I walked in and saw Jane "jelly rubbing" one off

by dirt d May 9, 2009

pit rub

Alternate way of saying deodorant

Will's was smelling dank nasty, so we threw him a tube of pit rub.

by nateabel October 14, 2006

Funyun Rub

The act of placing as many funyuns as possible on your member and then proceed to receive a handjob

"Billy asked for a funyun rub last night and I couldn't complain. "

by RJ Dicktiddles February 16, 2017