SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

Rub the Roast

A sexual activity, the process of dry humping rather than engaging in full on intercourse.

She didn't want to go all the way so she suggested that we rub the roast instead.

by kisssmyclasss December 15, 2012

rubbed out

1. erase pencil marks with an eraser.
2. (of a gangster or assassin) kill someone.

1. "he rubbed out a couple of lines and carried on drawing"
2. "you can bet he's been rubbed out for business reasons"

by Arminkshipper April 15, 2025

Rub around the bush

A ritual in which two genitally hairy men circle their penises around one another.

Hey Chad, wanna Rub around the bush?

by Sexually Attractive Big Mac January 21, 2021

Rub One Out

To masturbate until ejaculation.

"Dude. i was so horny last night i had to rub one out."

by DingingBell May 22, 2025

rub hog

A rub hog is someone who always wants to be rubbed (e.g. back or neck rub) in a non-sexual way. The rub hog generally only receives the massaging but does not offer reciprocation. This rub hog then turns into a rub log, going into a sleepy, near-comatose state.

Why don’t you just hire a masseuse, you f***ing rub hog?!

by What’supDoc November 16, 2023

gunt rub

when you rub your gunt against a pole or other phallic surface

"Did you see Amy Schumer doing that gunt rub in public the other day?"

"Yeah, I wish I hadn't."

by king_D__ April 13, 2021