Curious Tortoise

A (usually unexpected and unwanted) poop that starts to stick out it's head to check out what's happening, usually as it's owner is running to the bathroom in an attempt to deposit it before it fully merges.

I tried to casually let one go and thought I'd got away with it, but then I felt something poking at the back of my pants. It was like a curious tortoise straining it's head to see the world around it.

I made it to the bathroom just in time and it had a water birth. Now I have to wash my jocks.

by DustyRoads September 27, 2013

Nortis tortoise

South African slang for "definitely not"

Friend - Hey, Hughs in town. Do you want to go to his house and hit some bongs
Me - Hugh Newlands? The guy who packed a bag of my nicest clothes and went on the run?
Friend - Uh yeah, that Hugh. but he did say he was sorry and he has some A grade weed. So do you wanna go?
Me - Nortis tortoise

by Lanboi June 13, 2018

Revenge tortoise

The action of giving/threatening to give a tortoise as a present meant to seek revenge on someone for as long as the tortoise lives (approx. 100 years) for suffering caused from their actions. Commonly refered to as an RT.

Im totally going to RT Sally for moving away to Vancouver for so long.

Steph isnt responding to our messages, maybe a revenge tortoise will teach her a lesson.

by fairy in the water November 5, 2012

Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).

"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."

by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013

Naval Tortoise

A person who loves water...to the point where some people say it is obsessive. They cannot stay away from water long and typically hate on those who disrespect H2O. People often call them insane but they often beat them in water-related sports. It is believed that after a certain point they will grow fins and gills, though it is said to be theoretically impossible. It is believed they may be the future of man's aquatic evolution. Great prowess, ESP. on a water bed!

Mcgee: You see that naval tortoise
Rackman: Yeah he grew his fins last night and stole my girl this morning.

by DJ Craze October 23, 2013

joyful tortoise

nickname for Jeb Bush

The joyful tortoise lives in the state of Florida where adultery is the lowest per capita and it may be why it has the most cities that have Saint in their name.

by Coop Dupe January 13, 2020

Clapped tortoise

When someone is so clapped that they look worse than a tortoise

Abbie is a clapped tortoise

by Sandleradam20 June 15, 2021