ass-ton

An absurd amount of some thing, in a normal context. Specifically: 5x more than what would be considered "a lot" in that context.
"Dude, I want like, 30 hotdogs."

- "Dude, that's an ass-ton of hotdogs."

("A lot" of hotdogs would be 6.
6 x 5 = 30 hotdogs)
by for no reason June 21, 2014
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Shit-Ton

The shit-ton is a unit of measure. It has a long history and has acquired a number of meanings and uses over the years. It is used principally as a unit of mass, and as a unit of volume. It can also be used as a measure of energy or as a colloquial term.

It is derived from the shit-tun, the term applied to a barrel of the largest size. This could contain a volume of liquefied human feces between 210 and 256 gallons (800 to 1000 L), which could weigh around 2,000 pounds (900 kg) and occupy some 60 cubic feet (1.7 m3) of space.

In the UK the shit-ton is defined as 2,425.08 pounds (1,100 kg). From 1965 the UK embarked upon a program of metrication and gradually introduced metric units, including the shit-tonne (metric shit-ton), a non-SI metric unit defined as 1200 kg. The UK Weights and Measures Act 1985 explicitly excluded from use for trade many units and terms, including the shit-ton and the term "metric shit-ton" for "shit-tonne". In the United States and formerly Canada a shit-ton is defined to be 2,314.854 pounds (1050 kg).

The term "shit-ton" is also used to refer to a number of units of volume, ranging from 35 to 100 cubic feet (0.99 to 2.83 m3) in capacity. It can also be used as a unit of energy, expressed as an equivalent of coal burnt or TNT detonated.

In refrigeration, a shit-ton is a unit of power. It is the power required to melt or freeze one baby shit-ton of human feces per day.

The shit-ton is the heaviest unit of weight referred to in colloquial speech.
1. 1200 kg (2 645.55 lb) = 1 shit-ton;

2. Vaughan's mom devoured a shit-ton of dick on the weekend;

3. Lyle is the mayor of pussy-town, he eats a shit-ton of pussy;

4. Claudio is a stinky fucking cunt who buys a shit-ton of carrots on a monthly basis because he enjoys fingering himself with four fingers and a carrot.
by Old Vorn Johnson July 20, 2014
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shit-ton

1. A large quantity
2. A quantity beyond measure
That is a shit-ton of homework.
by |KPF|Batman March 12, 2009
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Meowtric tons

I had two cats on my lap, so the gravkitty was, like, twenty meowtric tons.
by Gebus1 January 21, 2009
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Tons of guns

A phrase describing something that is of greatness.
Anthony: Casa De Mi Padre is tons of guns!!!
by St.Mantooth March 22, 2013
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cock-ton

An unbelievably large amount, larger than a shit-ton. Generally speaking, take an quantity of something that an average person may have and multiply it by a depressing amount.

Commonly used to describe a buildup of procrastinated work that needs to be done in a very short period of time
Friend: Hey you tryna grab a beer tonight?
Me: Dude I’d love to but I have an absolute cock-ton of work to do.
by Don Hector November 12, 2019
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ton-up

To break the 100 miles per hour barrier, preferably on a motorcycle.
"I was doing ton on the way over here"

"were you going ton-up on the motorway?"
by durruti April 19, 2007
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