SPLENDA

A non-addictive version of the drug known as cocaine which was made from cocaine and through scientific measure was remedied of all its bad side effects like "the drip", "a bad taste", and has no "come down" after the high effect wears off in usually an hour per dose. Nicknamed "the Perfect Drug" in 3042 A.D. because scientists could find no harmful effects to humans. Renegade pirate time travelers thought it a brilliant idea to smuggle the drug back in time to 1998 A.D. and market it as an artificial sweetener, since it also had no calories and could sweeten anything, leaving it readily available and cheap to fellow time travelers who knew enough to sniff it rather than eat it to get the high.
"How do you know Skrillex is from the future?"

"Because I saw him snorting lines of Splenda... and have you heard his music?"
by Fairy Godmutha March 02, 2017
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Splenda

Yo, that Splenda is hella fineeeeee
by Splenda Slayer April 04, 2019
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Splenda Daddy

An older man who supports a younger guy but at a less-than-affluent fashion.
Liberace was a sugar daddy but my broke-ass husband is a Splenda Daddy.
by missnancycook June 25, 2022
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Splenda-Daddy

Not as old or as rich as a Sugar Daddy and willing to take ugly or fat chicks
I got me a Splenda-Daddy, no more paying for Netflix for me!
by Air-Bliss October 07, 2019
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Splenda daddy

A man who goes on sugar daddy dating websites, pretending to be a wealthy, individual of vast financial means in order to attract women and get laid. He will talk up a big game about having a mansion, several fancy sports cars, a yacht, and property in Belize, but you'll never see any of it because they don't exist. This is all just a ploy to get in the targeted woman's panties, which some women may stupidly allow, despite having secured any financial benefits beforehand.
Britney: I went out with this dude I met from sugar daddy dating website. We met up at Chili's, I had to pay more than half the tab because his credit card declined. Afterwards he offered me sex in the back of his beat up, old hoopty. I passed. Then he had the nerve to ask me for gas money so he could get home.

Janet: Oh hell no! It sounds like you found a splenda daddy.
by missybitch April 21, 2017
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Splenda Daddy

A daddy who pays you for your company and not sexual favors.
He is like the best Splenda Daddy. He takes me out on dates all the time, buys me clothes, and just wants me to be friendly towards him.
by LionBroad December 04, 2016
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Splenda Daddy

It's like a sugar daddy, but instead it's a Splenda Daddy because they don't get any sugar.
Guy: Did you get you a sugar daddy?

Girl: Nah, he ain't getting no sugar from me, he's my Splenda Daddy..
by Trixxy Crisp March 10, 2024
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