Calm Before the Stork

(n.) The time during a woman's first pregnancy during which nobody talks about the baby or being pregnant for maybe 2 seconds. This calm, almost eerie silence, usually occurring early in the 3rd trimester, is soon shattered by childbirth and the spirit-crushing, torrential shit storm that follows.

See Also: That part in "Deep Blue Sea" when people start getting eaten, but Samuel L. Jackson and the rest of the survivors find a minute to collect themselves and make an escape plan, and Samuel L. Jackson is giving a speech about how they have to unite to escape the genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks, but then, suddenly, one of the aforementioned genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks jumps out of the water and bites him in half.
Though it seemed for the time being that everybody had stopped speculating about his unborn child's future athletic prowess, physical attributes, and the huge amount of responsibility it takes to raise a child, the man was not fooled.

He knew that it was just the calm before the stork.
by Consopite April 29, 2011
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White stork

The white stork is a large bird in the stork family, Ciconiidae. Its plumage is mainly white, with black on the bird's wings. Adults have long red legs and long pointed red beaks, and measure on average 100–115 cm from beak tip to end of tail, with a 155–215 cm wingspan.
A. -I saw a white stork!
B. -Was it pretty?
A. -I guess so.
by Yamade November 23, 2021
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I Storked It Slow THen TOld HEr Best Believe
I Storked It Slow THen TOld HEr Best Believe
by MajorLeague1989Inspiration April 25, 2025
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Jake Stork

Did you hear Jake Stork is a virgin
by Puscake November 05, 2018
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Dark stork

Jimmy: Oh hi Todd how are you today
Todd: Terrible! Jerome poked me with a dark stork!
Jimmy: Oh dear.
by Dark storker February 26, 2017
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Reverse Stork

Reverse Stork, the action of stealing a baby via ways of flying vehicle, such as but not exclusively: drones, kites or jet-packs.
GUY 1: Dude, did you see that reverse stork!
GUY 2: Yeah, they totally flew away with that baby.
by ...Anonymoose October 17, 2019
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Stork stab

This is when your man has your legs bent and back touching the floor with your chin against your chest he's standing over top of you plunging the rod in straight up and down like North and South not East and West we call this distort stab because of the way he has to spread his legs apart and plunge up and down
I think I'm going to do the stork stab on my partner tonight
by Boypussy1119 February 01, 2023
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