Spud Spaff

Definition:
A tragically unimpressive or awkwardly timed climax—especially one that happens so fast, it might as well have come from a potato.
Also used to describe any sexual finish that’s laughably underwhelming, lumpy, or just plain weird.

To spud spaff – To blow your load embarrassingly quick, often accompanied by a weird noise, facial twitch, or apology.

by Spaghetti Pencil June 14, 2025

Smartie Spaff

The act of shaking smarties from a tube, held at crotch height, into or onto someones face.

"Mate, let's smartie spaff that girl!"

by Sheddybear October 27, 2011

[Spaff] [Wagon]

1. a person who is a goon.

2. a person who is only good to deposit sperm in or over.

an insult.

1.
A: mate I know i said i'd go for a beer but i'm working.
B: oh you spaff wagon.

2. that thick fucking spaff wagon!

by Guido of midland origin. October 18, 2008

spaff lord

Someone who excels in the art of jizzing.

Jimmy: Did you see the new Kid!
Paul: Yeah apparently he's the new spaff lord.

by heh3heh3heh3 September 4, 2019

Spaff

Wasting cash

When you go to the pub and spaff all your dollar

by Sphaff June 17, 2017

Spaff

Literally means ejaculate. As to Spaff on someone's face.

Having a wank later, might turn into a spaff.

by David Spy October 27, 2023

Spaff Pocket

A vagina that is a pocket for your spaff (cum)

Kev-'Oi Randy see that hot girl over there?'
Randy-' You bet I do Kev, I'd definitely shag her spaff pocket.'

by oscrape June 1, 2018