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mind-masturbating

To mind-fuck oneself, often in succession; lubrication offered by drugs, alcohol, etc.
I'm mind masturbating to string theory right now.

John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."
by TH3 BL4NK October 6, 2012
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mobile masturbating

When you masturbate in a moving vehicle, may be done as either driver or passenger
Hanging out with my friends got me so horny I did a little mobile masturbating on the way home to relieve myself.
by Tonksalot September 14, 2018
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Took away your masturbating right

Geez! It was just a watch. Stop hyperventilating. Don't act like someone "took away your masturbating right".
by It's Catwoman May 18, 2021
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masturbating

to MB with all your might. MB is a slang term for masturbating. masturbating means to seize the penis and to move it around according to your own comfort level. it forms a somewhat meaningful sensation.
"Billie Joe Armstrong, do you want me to get your bedpan?"
"No, sorry I'm busy masturbating."
"So then have you seen our wedding ring?"
"I think it dropped in my pants while I was masturbating at our Green Day concert."
by Jakob Armstrong April 19, 2006
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masturbating

To pleasure ones self with petroleum jelly heated from a microwave. 30 seconds no more no less.
After D-love takes his lubricating oil from the microwave he begins masturbating with the door open and then places the spent paper towell in a bag hung on his door knob.
by Johny Hero December 14, 2008
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masturbating

when you vigorously rub/slap/caress you erect penis or other penises.
Phil likes masturbating.
by Nick Scott Boire April 9, 2006
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Masturbating Zach Style

Instead of fapping like a normal person, one does it by bending over and sucking their own penis.
Zach: I want to give myself a blowjob!
Steven: Thats called masturbating Zach style.
by xHilarious iFunny January 12, 2015
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