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Morning Wood

Morning wood is when u wake up in the morning to a dick longer than usual. But u don't always get it in the morning. u get it 3 - 5 times while u sleep. It's actually healthy if u get them bc it means u have moderate blood flow. if u got that big dick for hours and u haven't jerked off then u got problems and u gotta see a doc bout ur dick. Some techniques that are used to soften the wood are to flex ur thighs and ass cheeks, pee, drink less water before bed, stand up for two minutes, and getting that pickle under some cold water. u don't want to go to school/work without coffee bc u spilled it with ur wood.
Dad: holy shit! son! what did u watch last night!
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.
by TheGuyYouGoToForThisKindaStuff December 5, 2017
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Morning Blow

When a guy receives a cock suck in the morning.
Keirsten took care of business this morning by giving Chad his Morning Blow!
by SlopNChop October 6, 2016
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Morning Shit

Morning shit is a shit that becomes so frequent in your schedule, that it is set aside as part of your morning duties prior to starting the working day.

It's a shit that really signals the start of your working day... in a good way.
Monday morning ritual

1.) computer on
2.) coffee brewed
3.) emails read
4.) bowels groaning
5.) shit taken

"Oh gotta take my morning shit...right! ready to start the day"
by Wizz Bang March 5, 2012
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principals morning tea

a sexual position in which the woman does a hand-stand and the man supports the womans' legs while giving her oral sex
I decided that I was going to treat my wife to a principals morning tea
by the_chocolate_juggernaut August 3, 2007
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Morning Blow

The act of giving/receiving oral sex upon waking up.
I can't get out of bed without a morning blow to go with my cup of joe.
by TK_ASS March 22, 2013
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All morninger

The act of waking up around 4-5 AM or earlier for the purpose of getting some goddamn work/studying done.
I pulled an all morninger to study for an exam I won't pass anyways.

I pulled an all morninger to do that project I left lying around for 2 months...
by nobodygotthisname August 2, 2009
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