Morning Tourette's 

The pucker-inducing condition experienced when you wake up realizing you are incredibly late for some kind of morning appointment i.e. your job, picking up your kids, feeding the homeless, etc. Symptoms include swearing or cursing in sharp, staccato bursts fuck fuck fuck and promising God you will never drink again.

Josh woke up, realized he was an hour late for work and suffered an extreme case of Morning Tourette's that woke up the nun he'd hooked up with the night before.

Morning Tourette's by geodave December 21, 2013

Morning Wood 

Morning wood is when u wake up in the morning to a dick longer than usual. But u don't always get it in the morning. u get it 3 - 5 times while u sleep. It's actually healthy if u get them bc it means u have moderate blood flow. if u got that big dick for hours and u haven't jerked off then u got problems and u gotta see a doc bout ur dick. Some techniques that are used to soften the wood are to flex ur thighs and ass cheeks, pee, drink less water before bed, stand up for two minutes, and getting that pickle under some cold water. u don't want to go to school/work without coffee bc u spilled it with ur wood.

Dad: holy shit! son! what did u watch last night!
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.

Morning Wood by TheGuyYouGoToForThisKindaStuff December 5, 2017

Morning Blow 

When a guy receives a cock suck in the morning.

Keirsten took care of business this morning by giving Chad his Morning Blow!

Morning Blow by SlopNChop October 6, 2016

Morning Shit 

Morning shit is a shit that becomes so frequent in your schedule, that it is set aside as part of your morning duties prior to starting the working day.

It's a shit that really signals the start of your working day... in a good way.

Monday morning ritual

1.) computer on
2.) coffee brewed
3.) emails read
4.) bowels groaning
5.) shit taken

"Oh gotta take my morning shit...right! ready to start the day"

Morning Shit by Wizz Bang March 5, 2012

principals morning tea

a sexual position in which the woman does a hand-stand and the man supports the womans' legs while giving her oral sex

I decided that I was going to treat my wife to a principals morning tea

principals morning tea by the_chocolate_juggernaut August 3, 2007

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Morning Blow 

The act of giving/receiving oral sex upon waking up.

I can't get out of bed without a morning blow to go with my cup of joe.

Morning Blow by TK_ASS March 22, 2013