Church

A word used to describe smoking weed usually in the presence of an adult.

Bob: Did you go to church yesterday?
Sally: Yeah, at Fred's house.

by Cheesecakexox December 20, 2010

Church

1. A group of people that claim to be Christians when in reality they aren't.
2. A group of people that gossip about each other behind their backs.

1. "yes I'm a Christian and go to church all the time. I also cheat on my wife with the piano player."
2. "did you hear that our pastor is having an affair?"
"OMG! Really?!"

by Betrayed by you January 9, 2010

Churched

Overly intoxicated, drunk beyond recognition. So wasted that you cannot hold a simple conversation.

Dude, I can't remember. I was churched!

by ka.ra September 26, 2010

churched

absolutely screwed, shit out of luck, an unfortunate turn of events, opposite the desired outcome, boned in the ass metaphorically, in some form of trouble, unpredictable event that did not go in your favor

Completely forgot Chic-fil-a was closed on Sunday's, that's some bullshit, I'm churched.

We missed the iPhone presale at 6am, can't believe it sold out in 30 seconds, we're churched.

My x just got to the bar we're at with her new fuckboy of a boyfriend from Santa Monica, wtf, I'm churchd' *SMH*

by sailingjerryjones November 6, 2017

churching

To attempt the crab position whilst maintaining an erection, completely naked. The limbs become the walls, the body the ceiling and the thoroughly erect penis, becomes the steeple.

'I like to thoroughly stretch out my pelvic muscles with a good morning churching.'

by Charon92 February 13, 2017

Church

The best pyramid scheme of all time. The whole idea started about 4000 years ago when some religious hustlers found out how profitable human stupidity can really be. Since then, this long-con has only gotten larger. It continues to survive by indoctrinating it's members in as children, and brainwashing them into ignorant submission. After completely destroying their common sense, the members are ordered to recruit more people. They're encouraged to invite friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers to come join up. Knock on doors, put up signs, hold rallies, whatever it takes to get more followers. They seduce these unknowing individuals by promising them everlasting life, good fortune, spiritual healing, divine truth, and much much more. By methods of guilt-tripping, coercion, and verbal sleight of hand, they convince these newbies to forfeit 10% of their salary. But don't think the church is done there. Far from it. Clergymen also have the right to be tax exempt, have a say in politics, assfuck your kids, receive free housing, and receive thousands from charities and donations.

The Johnson family goes to church because they're a pack of ignorant sheeple.

by Moosifer821 December 28, 2020

The Church

If
The
Men
Find
Out
We
Can
Shapeshift
They’re
Going
To
Tell
The
Church

“IF THE MEN FIND OUT WE CAN SHAPESHIFT THEY’RE GOING TO TELL THE CHURCH!!”

by AkariFromJapan January 31, 2023