bruised banana

when a person of either sex is performing fellatio, and that person giving said fellatio punches them in the penis before ejaculating. it could be a way of torture, punishment, or in some cases, pleasure.

She was going down on me, then right when I was about to blow, she gave me a bruised banana out of nowhere. She's so full of surprises.

by RedSpectre August 9, 2012

shroom bruise

when you dick slap your bitch on the forehead leaving a mushroom shaped bruise. another word for mushroom tattoo

i smacked the ho in the forehead and left a shroom bruise that lasted for a week

by douglas epley November 5, 2006

bruised peach

A broken down busted up girl.

From a distance that girl looked really quality but after getting a closer look it turned out that she was a bruised peach.

by jocko jones August 22, 2004

qualude bruise

unexplicable bruises appearing on the body, especially on the shin, knee and thigh, after a night of heavy partying. The marks occur at the cooresponding height of the furniture in the home, like cocktail and dinner tables, chairs, doors and door frames.

This morning when I awoke, there were bruises on my shins and knees, and I can't remember how I got them. Must have been a hell of a party to get all of these qualude bruises.

by uncle tim March 16, 2008

bruised fruit

A homosexual male with emotional issues.

You should have seen the way Bruce burst out into tears while watching Lifetime the other day . . . that boy is a bruised fruit!

by Armed & Hammered July 27, 2006

Unexplained Bruises

Those obvious body marks on the skin which appear unexpectedly the next day after particularly active sex, but you have no idea how they got there specifically.

No wonder Karen's smiling so brightly this morning. Have you seen all of her unexplained bruises?

by Monty_Pythons August 5, 2009

Bruised the toilet

To leave a brown streaky skid mark on the bottom of the toilet that is so caked on after taking a poo that the water from flushing won't remove it.

Husband: I'm going to head downstairs and take a deucer.
Wife: Sounds good.
--Wait 15 minutes --
Husband: Do we have a toilet brush somewhere I just bruised the toilet.

by lewdog07 February 18, 2010