Dutch Bidet

(Noun) A phenomenon that happens when, while seated and taking a dump, the toilet water splashes onto your asshole, expediting the cleaning and wiping process as if you were using a French bidet.

AKA, Mexican Bidet

Dump-taker: Dude, I dropped a rock-solid deuce yesterday and got such splashback, my ass has never been cleaner before wiping.

Dump-taker's friend: Ah, yes - the classic Dutch Bidet. Why bother renovating the bathroom when you can get one of those?

by Benito Sucio August 29, 2010

Accidental Bidet

When taking a large shit and it hits the water with such force that the water comes back and splashes your cornhole.

Victoria had chipotle for lunch and multiple alcoholic beverages the night before. The combination of beer shits and chipotle had her prairie dogging until she finally reached the toilet. While unleashing the cracken on the can, the shit splashed the water with enough weight for the water to splash back up and hit her butthole. To which she reacted, "Ah how refreshing, the ole accidental bidet."

by leilanotthesong October 12, 2012

american bidet

The spout of water that comes up from the toilet and hits your ass when a turd plops into the water.

"I was just in taking a dump, and I had a pretty good american bidet from that gigantic poop."

by m0m0 July 29, 2004

Russian Bidet

The act of giving someone a rim job after they have produced fecal matter with the intent of removing all poop from their asshole so that they do not have to wipe, as a bidet would do.

Matt: Eric just ate shit worse than a Russian Bidet!

by TwatLicker69 March 27, 2011

The World Bidet

An alternative to toilet paper which involves sticking your arse out the window on a rainy day and letting the rain clean your behind.

The World Bidet is way more fun than toilet paper

by cormacdffy December 30, 2011

WuWei Bidet

When you crush up a lil' bag of opium sprinkle it on a chinese hooker's tongue, then you get a rim job from her.

"i gots all this opium dawg, do we smoke it ? ..NAH Foool, need to get that WuWei Bidet for the real spiritual high"

by Buttslang February 28, 2018

Reverse Bidet

The exact polar opposite of a bidet; instead of being sprayed with a stream of fresh water from your toilet, you spray your toilet with a high-pressure stream of hot diarrhea.

1. I painted my girlfriends toilet with a Reverse Bidet.

2. Never lift the seat after a Reverse Bidet.

by SpankyJones September 3, 2020