Dutch Bidet

(Noun) A phenomenon that happens when, while seated and taking a dump, the toilet water splashes onto your asshole, expediting the cleaning and wiping process as if you were using a French bidet.

AKA, Mexican Bidet

Dump-taker: Dude, I dropped a rock-solid deuce yesterday and got such splashback, my ass has never been cleaner before wiping.

Dump-taker's friend: Ah, yes - the classic Dutch Bidet. Why bother renovating the bathroom when you can get one of those?

by Benito Sucio August 29, 2010

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Accidental Bidet

When taking a large shit and it hits the water with such force that the water comes back and splashes your cornhole.

Victoria had chipotle for lunch and multiple alcoholic beverages the night before. The combination of beer shits and chipotle had her prairie dogging until she finally reached the toilet. While unleashing the cracken on the can, the shit splashed the water with enough weight for the water to splash back up and hit her butthole. To which she reacted, "Ah how refreshing, the ole accidental bidet."

by leilanotthesong October 12, 2012

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american bidet

The spout of water that comes up from the toilet and hits your ass when a turd plops into the water.

"I was just in taking a dump, and I had a pretty good american bidet from that gigantic poop."

by m0m0 July 29, 2004

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Russian Bidet

The act of giving someone a rim job after they have produced fecal matter with the intent of removing all poop from their asshole so that they do not have to wipe, as a bidet would do.

Matt: Eric just ate shit worse than a Russian Bidet!

by TwatLicker69 March 27, 2011

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