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Bass Clarinet

It's like a clarinet and saxaphone put together. It is 900 decatrillion times better than a ordinary soprano clarinet (the most common clarinet, the one you start off with before the bass). The Bass Clarinet is ballin. Freakin wayyy better. I don't know you, but some people that are insane about it say it's "The Sexiest Instrument Ever!". I'd say it is the sexiest instrument too because of it's elegent design.
It also has a beastly sound dude. No kidding man. The Bass Clarinet is the Beast overall!

The clarinet is bull. It's too old school. Not enough "Manlyness".
by bassclarinetdude June 20, 2009
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learned the clarinet at school

Euphemism for "I give a fantastic blowjob".
In BBC's TV miniseries Sherlock, John Watson, (boyfriend to Sherlock Holmes) is discussing his various talents which include physical and mental flexiblilty, parenthetically adding at the very end of a long list "I learned the clarinet at school."
by dappertophatter November 18, 2012
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Contra Alto Clarinet

Contra alto clarinets are tall deep e flat clarinets. They are by far the best clarinet because they are rich and deep and make an awesome bass section. They're way better than baritone saxophones because, they just are.

Crazy clarinet players that play a bunch of instruments love to play the contra alto clarinet and when their teacher gives them some music for it, they get VERY excited.

Contra alto clarinets are reed instruments. A reed is a piece of plastic or bamboo that vibrates when air goes over it and it creates sound. A reed is kind of like one of those sticks doctors put on your tongue.

Since the instrument is so tall, you have to sit on two chairs or even a stool sometimes. It makes you feel powerful like a king or queen. You dominate the whole band.
Wow, what instrument is she playing? Oh thats a contra alto clarinet.
by crazy clarinetist August 2, 2010
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bass clarinet

100 million times better than the clarinet. Looks like a saxaphone, but better. A heavy instrument that requires harness or neckstrap. reletive of the clarinet.
boy 1: i play the bass clarinet
boy 2:i play the clarinet
boy 1:your'e gay
by andrew August 10, 2004
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Contrabass Clarinet

A rather large member of the clarinet family, the Contrabass Clarinet is in the key of B-flat, and is one octave below the bass clarinet, which in turn is one octave lower than the regular B-flat clarinet.
There are two types of Contrabass Clarinet- the Straight Contra and the Curved Contra. Curved Contrabasses are approximately two and a half feet long and doubles back on it self three, or sometimes four times. The straight contrabass clarinet does not double back on itself, and as a result is well over five feet in length.

The contrabass clarinet is not often used, as it is a rather rare instrument, but when it is used, it usually doubles with the Contrabassoon, or the regular Bassoon.
I play the Contrabass Clarinet in the orchestra.
by Zicdeh February 11, 2005
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Bass Clarinet

Awsome saxophone looking instrument. Way beter than regular clarinet because of low Eflat
by ut713 December 11, 2008
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Learned the clarinet at school

Euphimism for "I give great blowjobs" or “I give a fantastic blowjob
Sarah: "Any special skills?"
John: "Learned the clarinet at school."
by justicecupcakes November 4, 2012
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