carpentize

The poorest attempt to convert a noun into a verb, done typically by those who have little understanding of the actual processes of Carpentry. Often this word is an attempt to replace the term Sanding or an attempt to shorten a seemingly long descriptive phrase of the crafting of products through the use of wood.

Ignorant Man: "I THINK I SHOULD CARPENTIZE TODAY."
Educated Worker: "Shut up noob."

by Themanmann March 20, 2011

Carpenter

A carpenter is a legit, badass, problem solving, beer drinking, tang slaying, beast of a man!

Mary: man my dude is a pussy!
Mary’s friend: bitch you shoulda got you a carpenter! My man is the shit. Fixes everything and smashes like a beast!
Mary: well gotta Ditch this electrician!

by Bwahaha26 June 12, 2018

Rudy Carpenter

Worst collegiate quarterback of all time. Spent 4 years at ASU, turning a promising team with national title aspirations into a doormat that could not even beat the UA. Prone to blowing big games, throwing multiple interceptions, fumbling profusely, blaming others for his mistakes, and generally being a complete waste of a quarterback. Often found crying after a loss.

"Throw the ball Rudy, the receiver's open! Oh goddammit Rudy Carpenter why did you throw another interception?"

by eljefe81 June 21, 2009

Carpenter's dream

A girl who's as flat as a board and has a wooden personality, but she's easy to nail.

I can't find a date for Saturday night, so I'll just ask out my neighbor - she's a carpenter's dream.

by rasta21 July 17, 2013

Hollie Carpenter

Colloquial slang for a whore. Similar to a slag, but only greater on the prostitutional scale.

I Hollie Carpenter'd some girl last night!

Too bad she resembled a disfigured axe-wound.

by Mystery Tab December 10, 2009

Carpenterrhea

A psychological disorder in which a person believes they are a carpenter, however everything they build would be considered an abysmal failure by any respectable carpentry association.

Guy 1: That has to be the worst lamp stand I have ever seen.
Guy 2: NNNNnnnooooooooooooo!
......
Guy 1: Tell it to me straight, Doc, what's he got?
Doc: Carpenterrhea!

by Fls'Zen December 15, 2011

Carpenter

A chick who is an expert at nailing wood. In other words, a prostitute.

I was just looking for some local "carpenters" online.

by Wallydon February 1, 2010