Crumpets with the Queen

The act of engaging in anal sex while there is a Corgi watching.

When the dog walked into the room, gay sex turned into crumpets with the queen.

by Aschnied August 22, 2012

French Crumpets

Thinly sliced baguette, often served in France as an alternative to crumpets.

Alan:What the f*** are these?

Marine: Zey are French Crumpets...

Alan:No they're not, they're thin slices of Baguette. This is the shittest teat and crumpets I've ever had.

by Kent from leeds February 12, 2009

Morning Crumpet

An early morning dump. That first pinch of the day. May be one’s daily bowel movement or the morning crumpet may also be part of one’s scat play fetish.

I’m so regular. As soon as I get out of bed I pinch my morning crumpet.

I woke Rachel up this morning by dropping my steaming morning crumpet right on her chest. She loved it. She loves an English Breakfast.

by Eaton Holgoode January 20, 2018

Crumpet cunt

Sticking a buttery biscuit in ur cunt and leaving it there till it goes mushy

Oh wait r u crumpet cunting to Nick crompton

by Holocaust 2 August 23, 2017

Sub-Crumpet

Too Sub-Crumpet
Too withhold sex

"Kirke" Gilesie I'm horny
"Giles" Hmph keeps playing with iPhone

later that day...

"Giles" Kirke make sweet love to me...
"Krike" (Raised eyebrows) "You had you chance this morning"

Giles got "sub-crumpeted"

by languagebarrier May 25, 2011

Crumpet bum

Slang used for someone with celulite on their bum, it gives the effect of a crumpet! Also a built up residue of anal crap due to lack of ass wiping abilities

Lad: holly hell look at that crumpet bum over there! She aint been ass wiping

by Jollyrodgerey November 6, 2014

Bulgarian Crumpet

when a guy ejaculates over a crumpet/Pickett or teacake of similar statues. leaving just enough juices to ooze though it, His Partner must eat the cake in order to please his needs.

Sarah was feeling frisky at breakfast so she asked John to give her a Bulgarian Crumpet

by FizzyFee123 April 5, 2017