activated almond

An upper middle-class wellness/paleo/vegan type who is in a state of being activated by a wellness-related issue, eg. unspecified inflammation, bone broth, the rising price of kale.

Gwyneth is being such an activated almond over this vaginal steaming.

by ZitaB September 18, 2018

almond extract

an extract used in baking that you can get drunk on but it burns like hell. vanilla tastes way better but is more expensive. see lemon extract.

ugh, I'm 17 and I look like it, no wayy can I buy beer.

well, you could buy something crappier at the grocery store. almond extract's cheapish.

by ladybugbunny October 26, 2009

Almond MILF

A hippy ass, yoga going, almond milk drinking Mom I'd Like to Fuck.

Damn son, you shoulda seen the Almond MILF I saw at the Whole Foods today. She had a hot ass Pilates body and her skin was radiant like the sun.

by tsukiatari August 5, 2014

Almond Joy

To ejaculate on a piece of fecal matter, preferably human feces.

Jhon: Richard! Did you make another almond joy in the bathroom?
Richard: I'm sorry, I couldn't help it.

by Lemonade Man420 April 22, 2020

The Spicy Almond

Just like how blowing bubbles is done, you're gonna cover the head of your penis in hand sanitizer. Then have your girlfriend hold a lit lighter in front of your penis as you cum. Your semen will then have the hand sanitizer mixed in that will be ignited by the lighter. Resulting in a sticky flammable substance much like napalm.

Chad 1: What'd ya do last night?
Chad 2: I just gave Jessica "The Spicy Almond" last night
Chad 1: Shit did you end up burning her?
Chad 2: Naw she just took it like a flaming shot

by shottymcshotface November 28, 2020

de-almondization

when an Asian chick gets here eyes de-almondized to look more Anglo

Julie Chen underwent a de-almondization to look less Chinky so her racist boss would let her read the news on TV.

by mbp4me September 27, 2013

Slobbery Almond

Main Entry: slobb-er-y a-lmond
Function: noun, verb
Etymology: (Hebrew: עֲמוֹרָה)
History: First appeared in early Hebrew scrolls in the classic story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The perverse sexual act was removed in modern day versions of the Old Testament.

Definition: When a man forces his testicles into the anus of his partner (male or female)

noun|

You: "I gave her the good ol' slobbery almond last night."

Friend: "Yeesh"

verb |

You: "I slobbery almonded (or almond slobberied) her last night."

Friend: "Wow"

by Otineb January 15, 2010