Skip to main content

The Prick’s Gambit

And here, class, you see a prime example of the Prick’s Gambit.
by Witchdoctor4two0 December 22, 2025
mugGet the The Prick’s Gambit mug.

Captain’s Prick

A variation of Captain’s Pick, which in the original definition, is an unqualified and unknown/untested guy who is plucked from obscurity (by the head honchos) and helicoptered into a role within a work team, which is way, way out of his league.

This same guy, has neither been peer accepted or consulted-passed - nor will he ever be, coz he is so developmentally challenged that he will never progress, yet still enjoys the privilege of patronage by the top brass.

That’s the original definition, but the pun version (Captain’s Prick) has this same guy having the added dimensions of being obnoxious to the team, never contributing to team effort and what’s more…. he dogs others to the Captain just to get himself and the charade (of his competency) ahead!

All these, while never being made to be accountable for anything himself, coz he is inexplicably endorsed from above (due to the nature of his appointment) and so he is allowed to remain the way he is, indefinitely.

So much so that the others, either start leaving the job or have fantasies of leaving or at worse… have disturbing fantasies of overpowering him and hog tying him up and dumping him into a giant vat upon firewood and setting it to boil (muahahahaha!).
The big bosses at my GF’s workplace not long ago, ushered in “Jason” into the role of Team Manager- he is an untested nobody whose last position was as a mailroom boy.

But he has a glib tongue which convinces the top brass that he is made for greater things.

Jason turns out to be a real Captain’s Prick.

Due to his incompetence, unhelpfulness, nastiness and treachery, he has upset so many people that just last month, within the space of just one week: Jan, Steven, Cynthia, Robert and Melissa all quit in disgust.

Now there is just 2 left in the team - my GF being one of them - she comes home crying to me every night!
by BentoBoxHanz June 26, 2022
mugGet the Captain’s Prick mug.

as slippery as a butcher's prick

an expression from New Zealand:
extremely slippery, treacherously slippery
difficult to pick up or hold because it is slippery
drive carefully, the road is as slippery as a butcher's prick

watch that guy, he's as slippery as a butchers prick
by duckman_fromnga May 30, 2006
mugGet the as slippery as a butcher's prick mug.

Jonesy’s Prick

The largest prick known to man. Sometimes also known as The Frozen Rope, or simply “The Towbar”.

Jonesy’s Prick once attended a wedding in Florida and signed the guestbook as such, all the while managing to also be at work in Boston.
Jonesy’s Prick makes the Biblical leviathan seem like a subatomic particle.
by Jonesy’sP February 21, 2019
mugGet the Jonesy’s Prick mug.

Welshman's prick

Short and thick, so 'tis said, a chud.
What size dowel do you need?

A Welshman's prick.
by octopod May 1, 2005
mugGet the Welshman's prick mug.

Prick Donald’s

The name you use to call McDonald’s when they screwed up your order or when you experienced bad service.
That son of a bitch prick Donald’s screwed up my order again. They gave me a quarter pounder instead of a Big Mac.
by Jahamez May 7, 2019
mugGet the Prick Donald’s mug.

Use my prick as a policeman's whistle!!!!

A term used in frustration when someone claims to have done something for you and you find out that they have not!
Bertie Big Bollox - hey Ron, did you ask Brad about the tourney we discussed last week?
Ron - yeah, I did, no problem -

Bertie Big Bollox - Brad, did Ron talk to you about tourney we discussed last week?
Brad - no mate, he said fuck all about it to me!
Bertie Big Bollox - Next time you see Ron, you tell him he can use my prick as a policeman's whistle!!!!
by Bertie.Big.Bollox February 28, 2011
mugGet the Use my prick as a policeman's whistle!!!! mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email