Fucking Illinois
Bastard or
Fucking Illinois Bitch. Used by residents of Wisconsin (and sometimes Michigan) to describe
people from Illinois.
FIB's tend to have one or more of the following characteristics:
-Drive
slow enough to get passed by grandmothers (even though they go 25 over the limit in their own state).
-If they own a sports
car, they drive it like an SUV. If they own an SUV, they drive it like a sports
car.
-Lives in an overpriced condo on
Chicago's lakefront or an overpriced house in the 'burbs (yet still tell's everyone they're from Chicago).
-Buys a vacation home in Lake Geneva, Door County or Upper Michigan and immediately complains about the lack of urban culture in the area. Yet they can't seem to stop vacationing there.
-FIB
men usually claim to be "tough chicago guys" yet are too scared to go anywhere but Miller Park, Water Street or Third Ward when visiting Milwaukee for a Brewers-Cubs game.
-FIB
men are usually at least 50 lbs. overweight, yet find room to complain about the supposed lack of size 0 women in Wisconsin and Michigan.
-FIB women are usually either 50 lbs. overweight and insist on wearing halter tops and mini-skirts, or have A-cups and wear tops intended for women with an actual chest.
-Claims to be cultured even though 90% of their wardrobe consists of Cubs and Bears sweatshirts and
don't know of any restaurants that aren't bar & grill's.
-Think being an "outdoorsman" means sleeping in a $50,000 RV.
-Thinks Wisconsin wouldn't be able to sustain its economy without them, but
don't recognize that they're gullible idiots who buy vacation property in parts of the state that Wisconsin natives
don't even want.
-Buys a dried up piece of
shit because a Wisconsin merchant told them it was used in Native American puberty rituals.