Complainer's Paradox

While something may be terribly annoying, listening to someone complaining about that thing is always worse.

Alternatively: The only thing more annoying than (x) is someone who can't stop complaining about (x).

Andy: I hate this snow! I'd rather live in Iraq than in this terrible weather!
Bill: Shut up.
Andy: Why? You hate snow as much as I do!
Bill: Yeah, but listening to you whine is worse. Complainer's Paradox.
Andy: Oh, I'm sorry.

by narthuro March 20, 2011

portnoy's complaint

A book created by Phillip Roth. One would say it is about a Jewish kid losing his religion, until they notice the first 200 pages say "cunt" "pussy" "wad" "dong" "dork" "dick" "putz" or "fuck" at least twice a page. After that you could say it is about a Jewish kid losing his sex drive towards those whom he should stereotypically find atractive, Jewish girls, due to the actions of his parents.

"Hi"--softly, and with a little surprise, as though I might have met her somewhere before...

"To buy you a drink," I said.

"A real swinger," she said, sneering.

Sneering! Two seconds--and two insults! To the Assistant Commissioner of Human Opportunity for this whole city! "To eat your pussy, baby, how's that?" My God! She's going to call a cop! Who'll turn me in to the Mayor!

"That's better," she replied.

And so a cab pulled up, and we went to her apartment where she took off her clothes and said, "Go ahead."

Coolest fucking book ever.

by 6:47 AM June 10, 2005

wayne's complaint

The sick feeling you get in your stomach after being kicked in the balls.

Dear lord man, your going to have some mad wayne's complaint after that kick in the nuts

by Jorpy12 June 19, 2006

Portnoy's Complaint

A disorder in which strongly-felt ethical and altruistic impulses are perpetually warring with extreme sexual longings, often of a perverse nature...

Portnoy's Complaint. Best. Book. Ever.

by Ben Finkel October 7, 2005

Gentleman’s Noise Complaint

A noise complaint given when your sexual escapades are too loud for your neighbors.

Bartholomew received a gentleman’s noise complaint after his night with Samantha went through walls.

by NewJerseyCreamSquealer October 29, 2025

Serial Complainer

One who complains about everything. Never Happy. Can not be pleased. No matter what you do or anybody else does, they complain. The can not see the positive in anything. If there is a negative they will surely find it!

John complains about everything. He is what's known as a serial complainer. He's had several jobs and he finds something to complain about with every one of them and wants to quit. He complains about nearly every situation in life that he encounters. At first he's happy with the situation then when things go slightly wrong he starts complaining. All he knows how to do is complain about every situation.

by ghost-riter April 28, 2017

Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about

A twist on the saying ,"shit in in one hand and ask with the other and see which one gets filled 1st", targeted at complainers and whiners.

Whiney person: Everything sucks as usual.
Me: Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about.
Whiney person: That's the last time I complain to you about my life and also why are my boots in the bathroom?

by The Dark Anus (JC) February 26, 2019