Wanker’s Sheen

When ones face is covered in a sweaty gloss caused by a long, massive masturbation session.

Commonly spotted on the faces of teenage boys after a Sunday spent trying to beat their record of eight tosses off in a day.

Have you seen Karl’s face today, it’s very red and shiny, he’s got a proper ‘wanker’s sheen’ on him, do you think he’s been tossing off all day?

by Marty the Hat May 25, 2020

Wanker's Wednesday

It's when CHSmem memes/roasts the shit out of some poor Catherdralite on Wednesdays
@CHSmem on Instagram

Ah fuck bro you just got voted for Wanker's Wednesday.... You're so fucked

You just fucked my wife! Omg I am so voting for you for Wanker's Wednesday

I was having a real tough time in my life but #WankersWednesday made me get through it

by Haramchoddo August 3, 2018

wanker's cramp

British slang:
To wank is slang for masturbating, usually understood to be carried out on a man by someone of either sex.

Wanker's cramp is laughingly used to describe any hand pain, with the understood meaning that the person with the pain often masturbates.

You say your hand hurts. You must have wanker's cramp.

by soreofhing July 6, 2009

wanker's depression

After having a wank, realising that the best scenes in the porno clip were further on.

"Hey dude you coming out?"
"I don't know really, I'm suffering from wanker's depression right now."
"Fuck sake. You and your premature ejaculation!"

by RougeRay March 15, 2010

Wanker's tan

An expression of habit, where a person (generally male) stays in his room for a prolonged period.

'Pete's just got Football Manager 2009, so he'll be working on his wanker's tan for a while.'

by Middsyuwe January 24, 2009

wanker's claw

When you masturbate for too long without coming / another person masturbates a male for too long and gets a stiff hand and wrist.

"Can you take over? I'm developing wanker's claw!"

by GTFO my dog October 18, 2008

Wanker's Regret

The feeling of regret after you've just shot your load. Normally happens after you've had two hour wank session over some really, really filthy anal dressed up like a pig A2M porn that turns your stomach and makes you fire 2 metres.

Results in you running ccleaner to clear your tracks, the deletion of your five year porn stash and a cold shower.

Tim: I just burnt my clothes, chucked the PC out of the window and chopped my own balls off.

Ben: Bad case wanker's regret man.

by TimBen86 December 23, 2009