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The practice of reality TV pseudo-celebs, primarily on the Discovery Channel, using product in their beards to give the appearance of a long, hard, straight beard, resembling the male mammal penile erection in appearance.
Neil: "Did you catch all those beard-ons on Discovery last night?"

Bob: "I know, right? It's like they won't give you a show unless you're a visable douche..."
by BADxKARMA February 19, 2013
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The state of arousal from the discussion, growth, touching or appearance of a beard or beards.
Did you check out Steve's facial hair lately? Handsome as fuck.

Yeah man, I got a total beard-on.
by despicable-al March 24, 2021
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Tyler: “Yo Dan I just finished my new anime season.” Dan: “Yo Tyler quit being suck a fucking beard on dude!”
by Xesman69 June 3, 2020
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I assume derived from "chinny chin chin". To point out something said is a lie. A version of the saying for teenagers.

"Beard on tash with a little bit of mash" implies the lie is ludicrous. If less ludicrous you can use "Beard", "Beard on" or "Beard on tash".

All sayings must include a chin stroke.

Believe this comes from Portsmouth (Pompey) and surrounding areas of the South of UK.
Liar - "Alright mush, last night I smashed 20 birds"

Listener - "Beard on tash with a little bit of mash"
by Clatyn April 19, 2024
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Slap a beard on that ho

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To have intercourse with a woman, and fill to give her so much testosterone in the process that she then proceeds to grow a beard.
Now that you've taken her back to your place, its time to slap a beard on that ho.
by Jake Bry February 9, 2008
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The act of cunnilingus, or more colloquially to "go down on a woman" !
Person 1 : "What are you doing after work ?"
Person 2 : "I'm gonna go home, have a feed and a shower. Might grab the Mrs and "put the beard on" too !"
by Cpt. Kickass June 23, 2009
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To clamp your mouth securely over the bearded clam of ones lady friend
Fancy a pint,

No i'm going home to put the beard on
by Clive Pillowfriend August 20, 2007
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