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congrets 

noun- /kuhn-grets/ What you offer when you don't know if you should be saying congratulations or sympathies.
ex. "So you broke up with the person who made you miserable? Well, congrets!"
congrets by MsKitten November 25, 2010

Congress 

Do-Nothing Fucktards who couldn't solve a problem if it was eating them alive anus first.
If Congress isn't stopped, it will bring about complete economic collapse.
Congress by The Daily Show April 29, 2013

Congressional Calculator 

The Congressional Calculator is much like Obamanomics, it's calculations that don't add up in the real world yet people buy into strictly based on the source of the info. The Congressional Calculator is used anytime things don't quite add up but fits the agenda du jour. It's like adding 2+2 and getting minus 4 billion.
"Great news! Government Healthcare just passed which should decrease the deficit by about 2 Trillion!!" "ah, I love the Congressional Calculator, I'm gonna go buy a new 'vette."

Congrats on Your Gradulations

A message of over enthusiastic, usually alcohol fueled, well wishes when you are trying to over compensate with your Big Guy Energy, while doing your best to relate to someone much younger and more hip than yourself.
Drunk Golf Fan: Hey there fellow hip youngster! Hope you are having as much fun today as we are!

22yr old cashier: Not really.. This is just a side job because I graduate from college in the Fall.

Drunk Golf Fan: Oh wow! Well, uh, Congrats on Your Gradulations!

22yr old cashier: Yeah…. Thanks..

Congressed 

Getting fully, totally, irredeemably screwed. Made popular by the complete decimation of the India's Congress political party in national elections.
I got badly Congressed at work.
Congressed by bora_am May 19, 2014

Suspended Congress 

The act of lifting and holding a chick (usually shorter than you for height difference) off the ground while banging. Said female has her legs and arms wrapped around you, so she doesn't fall, and the male usually has her pinned to a wall for support.
Damn dude, suspended congress got her screamin my name!
Suspended Congress by Leah1234 September 24, 2011