(On finding a dieting woman wolfing ice cream right out of the bucket while standing in front of the freezer at 2 am): "Are you whacking off in the tool shed again?"
The act of becoming so enthralled by gaining knowledge from Wikipedia that you originally searched for "bio-luminescence," and, four hours later, are learning the history of "Oktoberfest."
I was wicking off so much yesterday; I started reading about Greek mythology and ended with the controversy of Billy Mays' death.