Nogtard

Abbreviation of "nignog retard". A spasticated black shit with diarrhoea-juice for brains. Walks around with its gob wide open for catching flies. Only speaks when stating the bloody obvious, for example when it sees someone struggling with 15 Asda carrier bags and asks them "Have you been shopping?".

Have you seen that gormless black shit with its gob wide open?

Yeah, that's the Patrick Road Nogtard. It fell out of its tree and the rest of the chimps won't let it back up.

Nogtard by Benny Twadge May 3, 2009

Nogtard

The absolute spacker of a man that loves Hill Ginger biscuits and Sargents apple pies. This fat Nig-Nog is also known as the Patrick Road Chimp and only moves it's huge tongue when trying to impress people by stating the obvious. Many believe the reason for him having such a long tongue is because he has licked all the vanilla from the bottom of every bucket ever consumed by him. Living with the Spack Dancer, this retard tries to operate the fish tank with the television remote.

Nogtard: Done some shoppin' then?

Dad: <struggling with 10 asda bags> yeah.

Nogtard by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 30, 2009

Nogtard's Tongue 

The largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. This species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as Nogtard. It is force-fed a diet of Sargent's apple pies, Hill's ginger biscuits and Smart Price vanilla ice cream.

You can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. The most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is Nogtard's Tongue.

Nogtard's Tongue by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 1, 2009

Nogtard's Bog 

A filthy bog in Nogtard's garden which is just asking to be put on the back of a Maltby lorry.

Nogtard's Bog will very soon be a close friend of Pork Scotch's Cone.

Nogtard: Nicking me bog then?

Nogtard's Bog by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle July 25, 2009

Nogtard's Bog 

A suprisingly clean white shitter found outside the House of Tard.

Dad: LOOK! Theres a bog outside Nogtard's house!

Flobbers: Oh Yeah!! NOGTARD'S BOG!! Look how clean it is!!!

Nogtard's Bog by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 27, 2009

Nogtard's pants 

Tent-sized light blue Y-fronts worn by Nogtard. First spotted on 22nd August when Nogtard stopped in the street and lifted his polo shirt. The pants were halfway up his chest and of a style not made since 1987. How often he changes them is anyone's guess.

Are we getting a marquee for my birthday party?

Not sure we'll get one big enough for all those guests we've got coming. We'll have to use Nogtard's pants instead.

Nogtard's pants by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 22, 2009

Fuck GoGuardian (NoGuardian) 

GoGuardian is the worst thing ever. It is spyware because it can block websites that are school appropriate, take screenshots, see your search history, spy on you through a webcam, close your tabs, and track you.

I was tracked on GoGuardian not even by a teacher but by some asshole who is there for students with special needs and I am not one of them.

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I fucking hate you for tracking me, closing my tabs, spying on me, and doing a bunch of other shit with GoGuardian. Fuck GoGuardian (NoGuardian) is the right way to make your students happy and have a good time in schook

Fuck GoGuardian (NoGuardian) by Random Words & Definitions October 27, 2022