13 definitions by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle
Tent-sized light blue Y-fronts worn by Nogtard. First spotted on 22nd August when Nogtard stopped in the street and lifted his polo shirt. The pants were halfway up his chest and of a style not made since 1987. How often he changes them is anyone's guess.
Are we getting a marquee for my birthday party?
Not sure we'll get one big enough for all those guests we've got coming. We'll have to use Nogtard's pants instead.
Not sure we'll get one big enough for all those guests we've got coming. We'll have to use Nogtard's pants instead.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 22, 2009
The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 29, 2009
A person who is so tall they can destroy a caravan by just standing up in it. As he stands up the caravandal's head smashes through the roof and the caravan is then ruined.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 28, 2009
The name assumed by a fat security guard who thinks that sitting in the gatehouse of a pie factory makes him the most important man in the world. He spends most of his working day reading his newspaper and demanding to see the ID of the only people of lower grade than him - the toilet cleaners.
Stop! Who goes there?
None of your fat business. Who the hell are you?
I am the Scotch, the Big Bad Scotch.
Correction. You're a fat ugly nobody with little legs and a gay moustache.
None of your fat business. Who the hell are you?
I am the Scotch, the Big Bad Scotch.
Correction. You're a fat ugly nobody with little legs and a gay moustache.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 18, 2009
The slowest walking speed possible. Only fat old security guards with short stumpy legs can achieve this incredibly slow rate of movement. Given a headwind and a hangover the Pork Scotch walk can compete with continental drift for lack of swiftness.
Is that fat guy sleeping on his feet?
No he's on his way to work. He's so old and flabby he can't go any faster than a Pork Scotch walk.
No he's on his way to work. He's so old and flabby he can't go any faster than a Pork Scotch walk.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 16, 2009
Generic name for a Maltby employee who is not a Maltby Hero. This worthless cretin removed Nogtard's Bog and Pork Scotch's Cone from the back of the Maltby Lorry and should be sacked from the glorious company of Maltby.
Where's Nogtard's Bog gone? Thought the Maltby men were all heroes.
That's the work of a Rogue Maltbyite. The Heroes must be informed so they can string the vile bastard up.
That's the work of a Rogue Maltbyite. The Heroes must be informed so they can string the vile bastard up.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 1, 2009
South African word for a barbecue. According to Pork Scotch and Goofy Granny this is "the only way to eat" and even "the only way to live". In reality however it is the only way to be fat and gay and wear pink flowery shorts.
For normal people a braai is something reserved for special occasions. For Scotch Man Porky Wawky its something you do at least once a day if the sun is out.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 31, 2009