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douchenometry 

a lesser known branch of mathematics that studies douchebags. Douchenometry deals with the relationship between the modern day douchebag and doucheassery.
Douchenometry should be a mandatory prerequisite class prior to working at any Ed Hardy clothing store.

sample theories
1. douchebagA + douchebagB = 2 too many douchebags in one area
2. The shortest distance between two douchebags is always the other direction
douchenometry by pendergastastic September 7, 2010

Douchenheimer 

Only used for those who have transcended from mere douche, to a higher level of douchebaggery. Describes a person who doesn't just act like a douche, they live like it. Most can only obtain this infamous title after training for the better part of their lives in the ancient arts of Taekwondouche, passed down by the elder D-bag monks of the Appalachian Mountains. A Douchenheimer will most likely be offended if you refer to them as lowly douche, and correct you in the douchiest way possible, as to show off their talents. Once one reaches the rank of Douchenheimer he is gifted with a special collared shirt, reinforced with steel so there's no possible way for it to not be popped. The Douchenheimer is revered by douches, hated all.
Guy 1: Whoa...

Guy 2: What's wrong?

Guy 1: That... thing over there, what is it? I wanna call it a douche but...

Guy 2: I'm afraid that's no mere douche. It's... a Douchenheimer!

doucheassery

an act or acts of jackassery committed by completely douchey people
Tom is up to his usual doucheassery by wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt and claiming to be a UFC fan
doucheassery by pendergastastic September 6, 2010

douchenoozle 

A common misspelling of the word douchenozzle; the misspelling became the norm at a BBS about TV commercials we all hate; it then became rather commonplace.
Dave is such a fucking douchenoozle for stuffing a roll of paper towelling and three boxes of tampons down our toliet bowl.
douchenoozle by Telephony December 6, 2011

Doucheness 

The doucheness you display after 5 beers precludes us from hanging with you.
Doucheness by WMS August 12, 2006

Doucheness 

Doucheness: having or displaying douche like tendencies.

The Douche Patrol aims to expose all douches across the globe. We see all forms of doucheness and the ill-effects that result.
John Doe was out clubbing this weekend with such doucheness that it was a total turn off to all his fellow clubbers.
Doucheness by Douche Patrol October 31, 2009