Occupational therapist 

Nobody really knows what an occupational therapist does, even the therapists themselves are not altogether clear.

It may involve prescribing over toilet aids to old people, cajoling unco-ordinated children into completing sensory-motor activities, fighting off physical therapists who also claim to treat upper limb injuries and dealing with cranky night-shift nurses who are jealous they did not choose an alllied health profession.

Among the most over-worked and beleaguered of the helping professions, occupational therapists tend to get stuck dealing with the problems that even the social workers can't solve.

1. The occupational therapist just gave me this long handled toe wiper because my beer gut prevents me from reaching my own feet

2. I told the occupational therapist that Johnny was at risk of losing his subsidised accommodation if he keeps flushing newspaper down the toilet

3. The infection control committee are having kittens about the spread of germs from theraputty in the occupational therapy department

Occupational therapist by kit8625 February 13, 2010

occupie 

n. The ultimate goal of the Occupy Wall Street protesters, and, by extension, the goal of protesters everywhere, in any field (or parking lot).

.............................

We are not rudderless slackers with no goals. We are fighting for a piece of the occupie!

Not much of a fight dude.

occupie by gnostic1 October 29, 2011

Occupytard 

anybody that's part of the OWS movement that doesn't know any more about it then who is what percent. They're usually the ones making the situation difficult for everyone else by doing something stupid, like breaking into abandoned buildings and calling it a headquarters, or getting smart with police.

Look at all of those occupytards throwing bottles. Don't they know this is a peaceful protest?

Occupytard by chuckgreene February 25, 2012

Occupational Health and Safety 

Is a legislation to protect dumb people from themselves whilst putting others with intelligence though hours and hours of pointless and boring presentations so stupid rules and procedures can be implemented to annoy workers and reduce productivity.

Occupational Health and Safety

When replacing cuter blades ensure equipment is shut down and isolated before removing cover....

Occupational Health and Safety by ladam21 March 14, 2011

occupotty 

when the potty, restroom, bathroom, ladies room, toilet, urinal, etc. is occupied

Poop, I broke the seal but the restroom is occupotty.

occupotty by teensy weensy May 11, 2011

Occupational Tourette's Syndrome

Occupational Tourette's Syndrome is most often associated with the exclamation of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks initiated by the fact of being at work. There are two known forms of O.T.S., acute and chronic. This is determined by the type of employment and duration.

Tom: Fu**ing BullSh*t!!! Piece of Sh*t! Son of a Bit*h!

Jake: What's the matter Tom?

Tom: Oh nothing. It just seems as soon as I come to work I start to swear. Don't know what it is?

Jake: Sounds like Occupational Tourette's Syndrome to me.

Occupational Tourette's Syndrome by Caesar_X August 27, 2010

Approaching occupational neurosis 

The sense of exponential dread that occurs when one more closely nears one's workplace. If one is driving down a hill to said workplace the effect is sometimes described as Hell like.

(In a carpool on a public service ad) "What's wrong Jake? Your face has gone white."

"Look down there at the bottom of the hill and to the right!"

"OH MY GOD! IT"S THAT PLACE WE WORK!"

(A psychologist enters the ad and states paternally; "This is approaching occupational neurosis. Don't let it happen to you or anyone you care about. Resign or seek professional help immediately!"

Approaching occupational neurosis by Cirdellin December 30, 2009